Billionaire's Cloud Bill Nightmare

Content CATALIN PIT O catalinmpit If your job spec looks like this: HTML, CSS JavaScript, Python NodeJS, GraphQL React AWS Docker Jenkins, Drone Bash scripting Puppet Terraform Kubernetes MySQL, DynamoDB, MongoDB, Aurora You're looking for an entire IT department, not for a developer!

The job market's final boss has arrived! On the left: a job description requiring mastery of 20+ technologies including AWS, Kubernetes, Docker, JavaScript, Python, Linux, security tools like CISSP and Palo Alto, plus NIST compliance and .NET. On the right: the actual job? Excel spreadsheet jockey. It's the classic tech industry bait-and-switch where companies demand you know how to build a nuclear reactor just to change the lightbulbs. The recruiter probably thinks "full-stack" means you can stack paper forms into a full pile.

Content Qualifications Bachelor's Degree or Master's Degree in Computer Science from one of the top 30 universities, like UC San Diego, UC Los Angeles, UC Berkeley, Stanford, MIT, etc Must be proficient with Node.js, React.js, Algorithms Familiar with CSS, HTML, PHP, JS Working knowledge of Amazon AWS, Docker, or similar cloud solutions

Content Matthew Ebel O matthewebel All the furries are hung over and recovering from FurFest today. And AWS goes down. This tracks.

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Ah, the classic cloud provider panic attack. Three identical red buttons labeled "Azure DevOps," "AWS DevOps," and "GCP DevOps" with a sweating person having an existential crisis below. It's like being asked which kidney you'd prefer to donate. The truth? Your resume needs all three, your sanity can handle none, and your company will probably switch platforms right after you become certified in one. The real punchline is that six months after mastering your chosen platform, management will announce they're "pivoting to a multi-cloud strategy" anyway. Just close your eyes and press one—the anxiety is the only constant.