For Theoretical Computer Scientists

Theoretical computer scientists really out here creating algorithms with time complexity that looks like someone smashed their keyboard while having a seizure—O(n⁷²⁶⁴⁹lg⁷²(n))—and then celebrating like they just won the lottery because "hey, at least it's polynomial time!" The P vs NP problem has these folks so desperate for wins that proving something is solvable in polynomial time (even if that polynomial makes the heat death of the universe look quick) is cause for celebration. Sure, your algorithm would take longer than the age of the universe to sort a deck of cards, but technically it's in P, so break out the champagne! It's like saying "I can walk to Mars" and when everyone looks at you skeptically, you add "well, it's theoretically possible!" Meanwhile, us practical programmers are over here optimizing O(n log n) to O(n) and actually shipping products.