Everyday People Vs. Coders

OH. MY. GOD. What unholy abomination have we summoned here?! 😱 Some deranged soul decided to write the most NEEDLESSLY COMPLEX lambda function to calculate a mean when they could've just used sum(x)/len(x) ! The audacity! The DRAMA! This is what happens when a Python developer discovers functional programming and decides to BETRAY EVERYTHING Python stands for. It's like watching someone use a nuclear warhead to kill a spider! Whoever wrote this code deserves to be sentenced to maintaining COBOL applications for all eternity!

OH. MY. GOD. The sheer AUDACITY of programmers thinking 8%3=2! Mathematicians are literally LOSING THEIR MINDS right now! 😱 For the uninitiated: in most programming languages, % is the modulo operator that gives you the remainder after division. So 8÷3=2 with remainder 2. Hence 8%3=2. BUT MATHEMATICALLY, modulo is supposed to be the congruence relation! The horror! The betrayal! The absolute mathematical BLASPHEMY! This is why programmers and mathematicians can't be in the same room without someone having a complete meltdown. Trust me, I've seen it happen. It's like watching cats and dogs try to agree on tax policy.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute MADNESS of using Fibonacci spacing for code indentation! 💀 Like, imagine scrolling through this monstrosity where each level of nesting jumps exponentially further to the right! By the time you hit the 7th level of nesting, your code has practically fallen off the edge of the universe! Your horizontal scroll bar is BEGGING for mercy! This is the coding equivalent of building a staircase where each step is progressively wider than the last until you need a JETPACK to reach the bathroom. Pure chaotic evil masquerading as mathematical elegance!

The hierarchy of suffering in CS specializations perfectly captured in Toy Story scenes: Cybersecurity and Game Design students? Living the Buzz Lightyear dream - endless identical clones, mass-produced and overconfident. "To infinity and beyond!" (aka "I'll be making six figures right after graduation!") Operating Systems students? That's Woody with the maniacal grin. Sure, they're dealing with kernel panics and memory management, but they're still maintaining their sanity... barely. But those poor souls specializing in Compilers? Straight to the lava pit of despair. They're drowning in parsing algorithms, abstract syntax trees, and the existential dread that comes with implementing a lexer from scratch. Not even the garbage collector can save them from this hell.

The graph perfectly illustrates the psychological journey of a Lisp programmer who's almost reached enlightenment but remains eternally trapped just below it. Lisp, with its notorious parentheses-heavy syntax ((((like this)))) and powerful functional programming capabilities, creates this weird phenomenon where developers start thinking they're unlocking the secrets of computer science itself. The more time you spend with Lisp, the closer you feel to some grand epiphany—like you're about to crack the cosmic code of programming—but that final breakthrough remains just out of reach. Meanwhile, you're spouting nonsense about understanding the universe while writing code that looks like a keyboard sneezed parentheses everywhere. It's the programming equivalent of climbing Everest, getting 10 feet from the summit, and deciding to set up a philosophy club instead of finishing the climb.

Behold, the classic "I just learned programming" approach to checking if a number is even or odd! Instead of using the modulo operator ( n % 2 == 0 ), our brave beginner has hardcoded every possible case from 0 to 25. It's like building a dictionary to look up what 2+2 equals instead of just adding the numbers. This is the programming equivalent of bringing a printed map of every street in the country instead of using GPS. The best part? This code technically works... until someone enters 26.