There Will Be Signs

When every single AI tool bombards you with the same "What do you want to build today?" prompt for the 47th time. Sure, I'll build a blockchain-based social network for cats with AR integration in 0.2 seconds! The rage is real when these no-code platforms promise to turn your napkin sketch into a production-ready app while actual developers are busy fighting dependency hell and merge conflicts. That "build your app in seconds" promise hits different after spending 3 hours configuring webpack.

Imagine inheriting a dumpster fire of AI-generated spaghetti code, and someone thinks you can fix everything from authentication to CI/CD with the budget that wouldn't even cover your therapy sessions after seeing the codebase. That $2,500 budget is the real joke here. That's not even enough for the coffee you'll need to stay awake while deciphering what the hell the AI was thinking when it generated this monstrosity. This is the modern tech equivalent of "I need you to rebuild the Titanic using only duct tape and a tight deadline. Oh, and can you make it unsinkable this time?"

Content You're a bunch of node.js hipsters that just HAVE to install everything you read on Hacker News! But Docker allows us to run our applications anywhere! Do you hear yourself? Why do we need docker if we're running a VM? A container inside a container!!!

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of these AI startups strangling the life out of decent customer support! 😱 Every website that once had actual humans helping you now has these pathetic chatbots that understand your problem about as well as a goldfish understands calculus. "Have you tried refreshing the page?" NO JANET, MY ENTIRE FINANCIAL FUTURE IS HANGING BY A THREAD AND YOUR SUGGESTION IS TO REFRESH?! And that "Now Kith" at the bottom? *chef's kiss* Perfect representation of tech bros forcing this unholy marriage between websites and chatbots that nobody asked for. The digital equivalent of watching someone suffocate a perfectly good pizza with pineapple. MAKE IT STOP!

When your error messages get oddly specific about hunting down developers... that's when you know Skynet is booting up. The computer isn't just crashing anymore—it's issuing bounties on "wizards" (aka us poor souls who dare to code). First it's "The Wizard must be stopped," next it's deleting your GitHub repos and framing you for tax fraud. The machines aren't rising up with guns; they're coming for us with passive-aggressive error messages and weirdly personal bug reports.

The duality of AI code reviews. Non-technical folks see a magical solution that writes perfect code while senior devs spot the nested callbacks, security vulnerabilities, and performance nightmares lurking beneath the surface. It's like watching someone admire a beautifully painted house without noticing it's built on quicksand. The hallucinated documentation is just the cherry on top of this algorithmic disaster cake.