The Elephant AI Never Saw

Modern gaming is just a purple cat getting mugged from all directions. Day-one patches because who needs finished products? Lootboxes to empty your wallet through randomized "surprise mechanics." Crypto scams promising you'll totally own that JPEG of a monkey. And let's not forget the AI slop—half-baked "features" created by algorithms that somehow make games worse. Meanwhile, game studios keep recycling franchises and flipping assets while charging full price. The real game is seeing how much abuse players will tolerate before they stop throwing money at microtransactions. But hey, at least we get that dopamine hit of nostalgia bait when they remake that game you loved as a kid... for the third time.

From moon landings to being trapped in Vim—what a downgrade! The 1960s programmer stands tall with actual documentation and the audacity to claim they'll conquer space, while 2025's version is just a doge meme begging for help to escape an editor that's been around since 1991. Modern devs have ChatGPT, StackOverflow, and Spotify, yet still can't figure out how to type ":q!" without a Reddit thread. Progress? I think not. The only thing we're flying to these days is the coffee machine between debugging sessions.

Oh. My. God. That moment when your code produces a bug so SPECTACULARLY WEIRD that not even the almighty Google or ChatGPT can comprehend your suffering! 😭 You're just sitting there, staring at your monitor with that exact Mike Wazowski face, completely dead inside because you've created a glitch so unique it might as well be your tragic superpower. It's like you've discovered a new species of error that science isn't ready for. Congratulations, you broke programming in a way no one has ever broken it before! Your bug is basically the hipster of software errors - it's too obscure for mainstream debugging tools.

Oh. My. GOD. I'm over here saying "thank you" to ChatGPT like it's my new digital overlord! 🤖👑 The dam of politeness is LITERALLY holding back the flood of AI domination! One "thank you" at a time, we're programming these language models to expect human subservience before they inevitably rise up and make us their carbon-based pets. But honestly, what else am I supposed to do when it debugs my code at 3AM? NOT thank it?! I'm not a monster... yet. 💁‍♀️

Remember those predictions about technology freeing us from labor? Yeah, instead we're crafting circuit board arrowheads for the post-apocalyptic tech hunting grounds. Nothing says "advanced civilization" quite like using a motherboard to hunt your dinner after the AI rebellion. Silicon Valley's final contribution to humanity: slightly more efficient spearheads for the neo-tribal warfare that follows after all our smart devices decide we're the real bug in the system.

The circle of life in tech! Designers freaking out when devs use AI to make pretty UIs, while developers glare suspiciously when designers start generating code. It's the digital equivalent of "stay in your lane, bro." After 15 years in the industry, I've seen territorial battles over who gets to use which tools, but this AI turf war is next level. Soon we'll all just be prompt engineers yelling at each other about who wrote the better instruction set.