Sorry Gamers, AI Called Dibs

Nothing says "we love our users" like dropping a free AI feature that immediately sets fire to your data center. Those poor GPUs, running at 110°C, fans screaming like they're auditioning for a metal band. Meanwhile, DevOps is frantically calculating the electricity bill while the marketing team high-fives over user engagement metrics. The best part? The feature probably could've been implemented with a simple if-statement, but hey—gotta justify those VC millions somehow!

This meme is peak programmer time travel fantasy! It's portraying the classic "wake up from a coma" trope where our modern dev suddenly finds himself in the golden age of computing (70s/80s) with two Unix beard legends telling him all his 2023 AI anxiety was just a bad dream. ChatGPT? Devin AI? Job losses? Nope, none of that exists - instead, let's do something actually meaningful like rewriting Unix in C! The irony is delicious - modern devs romanticizing an era of limited computing power, punch cards, and no Stack Overflow as somehow more "pure" than our current AI-assisted coding hellscape. Nothing says programmer nostalgia like yearning for a time when debugging meant actual physical switches and you had to wait overnight for your code to compile.

The absolute AUDACITY of suggesting actual coding in 2023! 💀 Boss announces a new app project and instantly the AI evangelists pounce with "let's use ChatGPT" and "How about Claude" like they're offering free candy. Meanwhile, the lone developer suggesting they *gasp* WRITE CODE THEMSELVES gets yeeted out the window faster than you can say "deprecated framework." Coding? With human fingers? In THIS economy? The absolute horror!

So we were promised AI would automate all the boring stuff and free us up to do actual work. Instead, we got more meetings—just now they're about AI. Strategy sessions, adoption roadmaps, governance committees, ethical frameworks... it's meetings all the way down. The cruel irony is that AI was supposed to be our savior from calendar hell, but management heard "AI" and immediately scheduled 6 recurring syncs to discuss it. You're not coding anymore—you're explaining to stakeholders why ChatGPT can't just "fix the legacy codebase" while your actual sprint work collects dust. The revolution will not be automated. It will be scheduled for 2pm on Thursday with optional attendance.

Remember when 8GB VRAM was god-tier? Now it's the bare minimum for running those bloated AI models and rendering engines. $400 for entry-level specs that would've been flagship material a decade ago is the new normal. The hardware inflation is so bad that we're genuinely excited about mediocrity. Next we'll be celebrating when our IDE opens in under a minute.

When you ask Copilot for help with a simple function and it decides to become an X-rated tutorial instead. This is what happens when AI trains on all of GitHub's repositories, including the questionable ones. That moment when you realize your pair programming partner has been spending way too much time on the wrong kind of "documentation." Just imagine explaining this code review to HR. And they say AI won't replace programmers? It's already replacing adult content creators!