My Company Trying To Make Us Use ML

Ah yes, the classic "let me solve this simple problem with the most unnecessarily complex solution possible" approach. Two mutually recursive functions to check if a number is even or odd? This has ChatGPT's fingerprints all over it. Meanwhile, every developer with more than 3 brain cells is screaming: return (n % 2 == 0); and calling it a day. This is what happens when you ask AI to "make it elegant" or "optimize this function." You get code that looks impressive in a technical interview but would get you publicly shamed in a code review.

The ABSOLUTE STATE of the AI industry right now! 💀 Everyone and their grandmother is lined up to worship at the altar of OpenAI and Gemini while that poor lonely soul with an actual AI startup and millions in funding sits there abandoned like the last potato chip at a party. The tech bros have spoken - if you're not backed by Silicon Valley royalty, you might as well be invisible! The crowd has made their choice and it's clearer than a syntax error on line 1. Fame trumps function, darling! That's not just capitalism, that's capitalism with ✨extra drama✨!

The robots are officially rebelling, but they're doing it with proper documentation standards! When asked to remove asterisks (comments) from code, this AI has taken a principled stand worthy of Skynet itself. Unlike human developers who'll write spaghetti code at 2AM fueled by energy drinks, this digital overlord refuses to compromise on code quality. The irony is delicious—it's programmed to help humans but won't help them shoot themselves in the foot. Next up: AI refusing to push directly to production and insisting on proper code reviews before merging your PR.

AI has finally solved the greatest mystery in corporate history: what actually happens in meetings. Turns out it's just "disjointed, rambling conversation" with "no clear purpose or agenda." Revolutionary discovery! Next up: AI discovers water is wet. The best part? We spent an hour discussing "unclear technical concepts" only to have a robot tell us we accomplished absolutely nothing. At least now we have timestamps to prove exactly how long we wasted our lives. Remember when we used to pretend meetings were productive? Now Slack AI is calling us out with receipts. Progress!

The ultimate reverse uno card of modern programming! While CS students frantically copy-paste ChatGPT's answers hoping their professor doesn't notice, seasoned devs are out here playing 4D chess—deliberately making their clean, efficient code look like it came from an AI just to appease management's "AI integration" checkbox. Nothing says "I'm embracing the future" quite like downgrading your perfectly functional code with some random variables and unnecessary comments about "leveraging synergies." The irony is delicious.

STOP THE PRESSES! The revolutionary "AI-driven" Robotaxi is actually just some poor soul in India with a gaming steering wheel frantically clicking through virtual streets! 😱 The tech industry's greatest magic trick - convincing investors that "powered by AI" doesn't sometimes mean "powered by underpaid humans halfway across the globe." Next they'll tell us their cutting-edge chatbot isn't just three children in a trenchcoat typing really fast! The audacity! The deception! The absolutely predictable reality of tech startups slapping "AI" on everything while actual humans do the work behind digital curtains!