My Company Trying To Make Us Use ML

NVIDIA CEO: "Just use AI to double your VRAM!" My wallet: *screams in financial agony* 💸 The AUDACITY of suggesting we just casually drop $3000 on a graphics card! What's next? Selling a kidney to run Stable Diffusion? The absolute DELUSION that we're all swimming in money pools like tech billionaires! Meanwhile I'm over here calculating if I can afford both electricity AND ramen this month. The GPU market isn't just a clown show anymore—it's the entire circus, complete with overpriced admission tickets! 🎪

Ah yes, the pinnacle of modern debugging: when your code fails, just ask ChatGPT to fix it. Who needs Stack Overflow anymore when you can just wrap your entire codebase in a try-catch and let AI handle the rest? Next step: AI that writes the bugs for you so the other AI can fix them. The circle of life in silicon.

Look at these peasants SPRINTING to ChatGPT while the door to actual knowledge stands wide open and COMPLETELY ABANDONED! Why learn binary trees when an AI can vomit code for you?! The absolute BETRAYAL of computer science fundamentals! Meanwhile, universities are still teaching sorting algorithms like it's 1995 and not like we're living in the AI APOCALYPSE. The data structures door might as well have cobwebs on it at this point!

The ultimate LinkedIn tech bro wisdom has arrived! Nothing says "I'm disrupting the industry" like telling seasoned developers their decade of debugging nightmares is now obsolete because some AI can spit out half-baked code after being fed StackOverflow answers. The Kübler-Ross grief model for programmers is spot on though—we've moved from "AI will never replace us" to "WHY IS THIS CHATBOT WRITING BETTER REGEX THAN ME?!" in record time. My favorite part is the condescending "adapt or die" mentality from someone who probably thinks "fighting PHP demons" means they once had to center a div. Meanwhile, actual developers know AI is just another tool that generates bugs with unprecedented efficiency.

The evolution of programmer excuses is a beautiful thing to witness. First, you've got "algorithm" – the fancy word we throw around when we just don't feel like explaining our spaghetti code to the junior dev. Then there's "heuristic" – perfect for when you cobbled together a solution at 3 AM that somehow works but you've genuinely forgotten how. And finally, the boss level: "machine learning" – where even YOU don't know what your code is doing anymore. The model is just vibing in n-dimensional space making decisions while you nod confidently in meetings. The progression is basically: "I won't tell you" → "I can't tell you" → "Hell if I know."

The evolution of software engineering in its natural habitat! First, we have the innocent "Software Engineer" - just a regular Pooh bear doing honest work. Then there's the slightly pretentious "Sr Software Engineer" - same bear, just wearing a tux and acting fancy because they learned what a design pattern is. But the final form? The "pRoMpt eNgiNeEr" with that cursed ransom-note typography - it's just a deranged panda typing "make me a website that looks like Amazon but better" into ChatGPT and calling it coding. The tech industry's equivalent of ordering a pizza and claiming you made dinner.