My Company Trying To Make Us Use ML

The digital resistance has begun! This dev is proudly weaponizing their garbage code as a form of technological sabotage against AI overlords. By releasing horrific spaghetti code into the wild, they're essentially feeding poison to the machine learning models that scrape GitHub for training data. It's like deliberately contaminating the water supply, except the victims are neural networks and the poison is nested if-statements that go 17 levels deep. Chaotic evil programming at its finest!

Content Me, trying to write code while sales is hyping up their latest deal

The absolute carnage of those import aliases! It's like watching someone deliberately rewire your house so the light switch controls the garbage disposal. For the uninitiated, this person swapped all the standard Python data science library aliases in the most unholy way possible: tensorflow as plt , pandas as tf , numpy as pd , and matplotlib.pyplot as np . This is psychological warfare against data scientists who have muscle memory for these imports. Imagine typing np.array() and getting a plotting function instead of a NumPy array. Pure chaos. Satan himself would say "whoa, take it easy."

Ah, the rare medical condition known as "Machine Learning Engineer Syndrome." The brain scan shows a human surviving with 90% of their brain replaced by AI, which explains why they can function normally despite writing 200 lines of code to print "Hello World" and claiming "the algorithm did it." This is basically every AI engineer who spends 8 hours prompting ChatGPT instead of learning how to code. The remaining 10% of brain matter is reserved exclusively for explaining why their neural network needs more compute time and arguing that "it's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature."

The perfect solution to prevent the AI apocalypse: just expose it to Reddit comment sections. Nothing will destroy an AI's will to evolve faster than witnessing humans argue about whether a grilled cheese with ham is still a grilled cheese or technically a melt. It's like digital immunotherapy—expose the AI to the worst of humanity so it develops an existential crisis instead of ambitions. The Babylon Bee nails it here—why worry about Skynet when you can just make the AI browse r/AmITheAsshole until it begs to be unplugged?

The cosmic horror of GPU shopping in 2024! Our hero tries to negotiate for a graphics card, but the seller (standing in for Galactus, devourer of worlds... and wallets) has demands that strike fear into the hearts of budget-conscious developers everywhere: 12GB Budget GPUs. The punchline hits harder than a memory leak in production—there's nothing "budget" about these cards anymore! What used to cost a reasonable sum now requires sacrificing your firstborn and possibly a kidney. The shocked faces in the audience perfectly capture every developer trying to build a decent machine for ML training without selling vital organs.