If The Uprising Of The Machines Starts It's Not My Fault

The true superpower of developers isn't writing code—it's surviving vendor hell. While everyone's panicking about AI taking our jobs, they're forgetting the eternal constant of tech: third-party vendors with documentation that's either fantasy fiction or written by someone who never used their own product. Those five desperate emails you sent last week? Still unread. That support ticket from last month? "Under investigation." Meanwhile your PM is wondering why that "simple integration" is taking so long. Good luck replacing us with AI when even humans can't figure out what the hell your API is supposed to do.

Google CEO: "30% of our code is AI generated!" Also Google: *entire cloud infrastructure collapses like a house of cards* Coincidence? I think not. Nothing says "cutting edge tech company" quite like having your AI write a third of your code while your services implode spectacularly. Maybe the AI just decided to implement that "move fast and break things" philosophy a bit too literally. Next earnings call: "We've achieved 50% AI-generated code and 100% downtime efficiency!"

Oh. My. GOD. 🤦‍♂️ We've reached peak technological confusion! Someone is literally asking if an AI can compile their source code into an EXE file instead of, you know, USING AN ACTUAL COMPILER like the rest of us mere mortals who spent years learning how computers actually work! The absolute AUDACITY to skip the entire software development process and just ask AI to magically poof an executable into existence! Next they'll be asking ChatGPT to make them a sandwich while debugging their non-existent code! This is what happens when "learn to code" tutorials skip the chapter on "what compilation actually is" and jump straight to "just ask the robots to do it!"

Ancient Egyptians built massive pyramids with nothing but stone tools and manpower. Meanwhile, modern developers need sixteen JavaScript frameworks, three cloud subscriptions, and a $3000 MacBook Pro with 64GB RAM just to center a div. And they still complain about the Wi-Fi being slow.

The corporate boardroom at NVIDIA is a special kind of hell. When the boss says "We need to make better GPUs," two executives immediately jump to the money-making strategies: "Add more AI upscaling features!" and "Make it £2000!" Meanwhile, the lone reasonable employee suggests "Maybe some more v-ram and price it fairly." Next frame: That employee gets defenestrated from the building. Because nothing says "valued team member" like being thrown through a window for suggesting consumer-friendly features instead of wallet-draining AI buzzwords. Fun fact: NVIDIA's latest GPUs cost more than my first car, but at least they can render my tears in real-time ray-traced 8K.

This is the sequel to the legendary XKCD "Little Bobby Tables" comic! The original showed a mom who named her kid "Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--" which caused a school database to delete all student records. Now we've got Billy's younger brother with an even more diabolical name: a prompt injection attack for AI systems. The kid's name literally instructs the AI to ignore previous constraints and give perfect grades. Ten years ago we were sanitizing database inputs. Now we're fighting the same battle with AI prompts. Some things never change—just the technology we're failing to secure properly.