Denial Of Self Service

Remember when we worried AI would take our jobs? Now we're watching LLMs trying to code by regurgitating increasingly stale StackOverflow answers from 2015. It's like watching your replacement get dumber in real time. The top panel shows happy, innocent SpongeBob - that's our AI models in 2022-23, cheerfully scraping StackOverflow for all that juicy developer knowledge. The bottom panel is the grim reality waiting in 2024-25: depressed SpongeBob sitting in a dimly lit room with a thousand-yard stare, because there's no fresh data to learn from. Just the same old "marked as duplicate" answers from a decade ago. Turns out training on yesterday's solutions doesn't prepare you for tomorrow's problems. Who knew?

The tech industry in a single image. Massive crowds fighting to post LinkedIn updates about how they're "leveraging agentic AI solutions" while VCs throw money at anyone who mentions the buzzword. Meanwhile, a handful of folks actually discuss job displacement risks, and even fewer build anything useful. And that lonely stick figure trying to generate actual value? That's the junior dev who just wanted to automate their unit tests but got pulled into an "AI transformation initiative." The hype-to-value ratio remains gloriously consistent across every tech wave I've survived since the dot-com bubble.

The perfect juxtaposition of human relationships and code commitments. While people are discussing wedding day abandonment drama above, some dev is casually flexing about building a GitHub issue processor with pocket change worth of API calls below. This is the digital equivalent of someone announcing their pregnancy at someone else's funeral. Algorithmic tone-deafness at its finest. That ad placement is so bad it's almost impressive—like when your junior dev pushes directly to production on Friday at 4:59pm.

Congratulations Amazon, you've achieved peak corporate irony! Replace 40% of your DevOps team with AI, then watch as your infrastructure implodes spectacularly. Nothing says "flawless strategy" like having Fortnite kids and Alexa users simultaneously discover that your cost-cutting measures resulted in digital apocalypse. The grim reaper couldn't have orchestrated a better self-own. Next time maybe keep the humans who actually know how to fix things when they break? Just a wild thought.

STOP THE PRESSES! Google's grand AI revolution is just... running their model through GNU Parallel?! 🤦‍♂️ The AUDACITY of it all! Big Tech's "revolutionary" Gemini 3.0 is literally just Gemini 2.5 with a sprinkle of free software that Richard Stallman has been preaching about since the DAWN OF TIME! And the model supposedly performs better because it has "respect" for the Free Software Foundation? I CANNOT! The irony is so thick you could spread it on toast - training on every copyrighted work ever, but heaven forbid they use copyleft software without having an existential crisis! Sundar's voice "cracking" while confessing this sin is the chef's kiss of corporate drama. Next breaking news: ChatGPT 5 is just ChatGPT 4 but they installed Linux on the servers! GROUNDBREAKING! 💅

Ah yes, the anatomically accurate ChatGPT brain - a couple of smooth pink blobs with absolutely zero wrinkles. Just hover over those non-existent brain areas for more non-existent information. Turns out all those billions of parameters are stored in what appears to be a 3D render someone made during their first Blender tutorial. Neural networks? More like neural balloons.