Damn Programmers They Ruined Calculators

The modern developer's version control system: ChatGPT. Sure, we've evolved from USB sticks to Google Drive, but some of us have ascended to a higher plane of chaotic development—keeping our precious code snippets in chat history with an AI. Nothing says "senior developer with impeccable practices" quite like frantically scrolling through your conversation history at 2 PM during a production outage trying to find that one clever function you wrote last month. Git who? Never heard of her.

The eternal struggle with AI coding assistants. Claude keeps telling me my broken code is "absolutely right" while my application crashes and burns in the background. It's like having that one junior dev who confidently nods along to everything you say but has no idea what's happening. The real debugging begins when you have to figure out if you're the problem or if Claude is gaslighting you into believing your spaghetti code is a masterpiece.

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of these ChatGPT-wielding imposters! 💅 They waltz into interviews like "I'm a programmer" with their chest puffed out, but when asked about actual languages they know? *dramatic gasp* They whisper "ChatGPT" and suddenly everyone loses their minds! It's like showing up to a knife fight with a spork and expecting to be taken seriously! The coding community is LITERALLY having a collective aneurysm watching people who couldn't write a for-loop to save their lives claiming developer status because they can prompt an AI. Honey, asking ChatGPT to code for you doesn't make you a programmer any more than asking Siri for directions makes you a cartographer!

Turns out both chefs and AI "developers" are just throwing ingredients together and hoping something edible comes out. The difference? Chefs actually know what basil is. Ten years of writing clean, maintainable code just to be replaced by someone who knows how to type "make me a full-stack app with blockchain integration" into a text box. At least the spaghetti I'm eating tastes better than the spaghetti code these AI tools are churning out.

Ah, the beautiful dance of prompt engineering! This is what happens when you try to get an AI to generate a specific movie scene but keep hitting content policy walls. The user starts with a simple request for a Samuel L. Jackson meme, and watches in horror as the AI keeps multiplying characters with each attempt like it's running some bizarre cloning experiment. This is basically modern programming in 2024 - spending hours trying to phrase your request juuuust right so the AI doesn't hallucinate an entire cast reunion when you just wanted one angry dude with a gun. The final result? A perfect example of how "prompt engineering" is just fancy talk for "begging the computer to do what you actually want instead of what it thinks you want."

The eternal battle between sales and engineering continues! Sales execs looking at new projects like they're discovering the One Ring to rule them all – "Let's sprinkle some blockchain and AI on it!" Meanwhile, developers are channeling their inner Aragorn with a firm "NO" that contains the exhaustion of a thousand pointless standups. It's the corporate version of "We have blockchain at home. The blockchain at home: an Excel spreadsheet with a password." The irony? Most projects that "need" blockchain and AI could be solved with a decent database and some if/else statements.