Damn Programmers They Ruined Calculators

Congratulations, humanity. We've spent decades perfecting calculators—devices with the singular purpose of doing math correctly—only to replace them with AI that guesses answers like a hungover liberal arts major. Language models see "2+2" and think "hmm, these symbols often appear near '4' in text, so that's probably right" instead of, you know, adding. It's like building a toaster that occasionally decides your bread would be better as soup. The irony is exquisite—we've created systems smart enough to write poetry but too "creative" to remember that math has actual rules.