Can We Start Calling AI By Its Real Name

The AI revolution has birthed a savage new tech insult: promptsitutes – developers who just copy-paste prompts instead of writing actual code. In the new hierarchy of developer shame, JavaScript devs (traditionally the butt of programming jokes) have been promoted above these AI-prompt jockeys. Meanwhile, the second commenter is gleefully adopting the term like they just found free pizza at a hackathon. The dev ecosystem's pecking order just got a whole new bottom rung!

The modern programmer's productivity killer isn't compiling code anymore—it's hitting the ChatGPT rate limit. Nothing quite justifies a coffee break like that "Too many requests" message. The best part? Even your manager can't argue with AI infrastructure limitations. "Sorry boss, I'm not slacking off... I'm just waiting for OpenAI's servers to let me be productive again." The perfect crime.

Studying machine learning while submerged in a swimming pool isn't what the recruiters meant by "deep learning experience." Six months into this AI project and I'm still just trying to keep my head above water. The documentation might as well be written in Atlantean.

Remember when programmers were basically digital demigods who could craft mission-critical code for lunar missions without breaking a sweat? Yeah, me neither. Today's reality is more like staring blankly at a screen, asking ChatGPT to fix our semicolon errors while we're trapped in Vim because apparently that's still a thing in 2024. And let's not forget the classic "fix one bug, spawn three more" - nature's way of keeping us humble. The golden age of programming never existed. We just replaced "I don't know how to do this" with "I don't know how to ask AI to do this for me."

Ah, the classic "quantity equals quality" fallacy, now in AI form. Someone's confusing "frantically pushing updates" with "actual progress." It's like measuring a developer's productivity by how many times they hit the keyboard instead of whether the code works. Nothing says "stable, well-tested software" like 25 updates in two weeks. I'm sure none of those were emergency patches for the previous rushed updates. Nope. Pure innovation.

JetBrains turning down the boring responsible work of fixing bugs and adding features in favor of shoving AI into everything is peak 2023 software development. The industry's collective hallucination that AI will magically solve problems we can't even articulate properly is hilarious. Meanwhile, users just want their damn IDE to stop crashing during compile time. But hey, now it can auto-complete with the confidence of a junior dev who skimmed Stack Overflow for 5 minutes!