Flying To Mars: The Ultimate Guide To Development Methods

startup Scrum Project management Software development Waterfall Development methodologies Kanban Lean Mars mission

Agile Programming Testing Devops

24 days ago 64,447 views 0 shares

Flying To Mars: The Ultimate Guide To Development Methods

software-development-memes, agile-memes, waterfall-memes, kanban-memes, scrum-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of software development methodologies laid bare! 😂

Waterfall is just straight-up DELUSIONAL - "Let's plan everything perfectly and then MAGICALLY end up on Mars!" Sure, Jan. 🙄

Agile is that friend who SWEARS they're going to Paris but ends up in their backyard. "We wanted Mars but settled for the Moon because REALITY HAPPENED, sweetie!"

Kanban? More like Can't-Ban the endless sticky notes! A YEAR later and you're still begging for armrests while drowning in tiny tasks. The AUDACITY!

Scrum is just organizational WHIPLASH. Disappear for a month, fail spectacularly, then have the NERVE to call a 15-minute meeting to start over? I'm DECEASED. ⚰️

And Lean Development? Honey, that's just poverty with WINGS ON A FIRECRACKER. The delusion of convincing investors that your dollar-store rocket might reach Mars "someday" is just *chef's kiss* PEAK STARTUP CULTURE.

More Like This

Spending Eight Hours In Traffic To Prove Your Job Cannot Be Done Remotely

Agile Programming

24 days ago 57.9K views 0 shares

Spending Eight Hours In Traffic To Prove Your Job Cannot Be Done Remotely

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute CIRCUS of modern tech work! 🤡 You've got all the skills, equipment, and internet connection to code from the comfort of your home, but NOOOOO! Some micromanaging dinosaur decides your productivity is directly proportional to how miserable your commute is! So here you are, dressed for the part you're forced to play in this corporate carnival, silently screaming inside while typing the EXACT SAME CODE you could've written in your pajamas! The rainbow wig really brings out the absurdity of sitting in a cubicle doing a job that literally requires nothing but a laptop and functioning brain cells. Pure. Comedy. TRAGEDY. 💀

When Are We Supposed To Work

Agile Webdev Devops Programming

1 month ago 67.4K views 2 shares

When Are We Supposed To Work

The daily life of a developer in an "agile" environment that's about as agile as a concrete truck. 100 standups, 100 sprint plannings, 100 backlog refinements, and a 10-hour retro... EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! The One Punch Man parody perfectly captures that moment when your manager thinks all these meetings somehow make you more productive. Meanwhile, your actual coding time has been reduced to those precious 7 minutes between your 2:53 PM and 3:00 PM meetings. Who needs to write code when you can talk about writing code instead?

The Startup Job Description: All Of The Above

Agile Devops Programming Debugging Testing

1 month ago 98.3K views 0 shares

The Startup Job Description: All Of The Above

Startup life in a nutshell! While corporate devs get neatly defined roles, joining a startup means you're simultaneously the backend architect, frontend designer, DevOps wizard, QA department, and the person who fixes the coffee machine. The "Yes" response is just the beginning - by month three you've built a microservice architecture single-handedly while also managing investor relations and ordering office snacks. The "23 personalities" isn't a disorder, it's your actual job description!

Every Workaround Ever

Agile Devops Programming Debugging

1 month ago 86.3K views 0 shares

Every Workaround Ever

Ah, the classic "// TODO: remove when no longer needed" followed by a roof built around a ladder instead of removing it. This is peak developer energy! Just like that temporary fix from 2016 that's now somehow a critical part of your production infrastructure. The comment might as well say "// TODO: remove when hell freezes over" because we all know that ladder is staying there until the building collapses. Technical debt with physical manifestation!

Who Took This Photo

Agile Devops Programming Debugging

28 days ago 84.1K views 0 shares

Who Took This Photo

The natural hierarchy of software development in its native habitat. Junior devs frantically climbing up the project staircase, desperately trying to make sense of the codebase they inherited. The senior dev stands back, knowing exactly which parts will collapse but choosing to watch the learning process unfold. Meanwhile, the Scrum Master casually enjoys his snack, completely oblivious to the impending disaster. He'll just add it as "technical debt" to next sprint's backlog and call it a day. The best part? No one knows who's actually responsible for this architectural nightmare, but the commit history has been carefully scrubbed of all evidence.

Master Of Scrum

Agile Devops Programming

1 month ago 66.0K views 0 shares

Master Of Scrum

Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of developers like an angry baby hippo representing your Scrum Master when you show up to standup with outdated Jira tickets. That tiny mouth can unleash a torrent of passive-aggressive phrases like "Is your ticket in the right column?" and "Can we get an estimate on that?" The daily ritual of frantically updating tickets 2 minutes before standup is the true agile methodology nobody talks about. Pro tip: keep a browser tab with Jira open at all times – not for productivity, but for survival.