OH. MY. GOD. The most DRAMATIC change in human history! Can you spot the difference? NEITHER CAN I! 😱 Programmers during quarantine living their EXACT SAME LIVES as before because we were ALREADY social distancing with our beloved screens! While the world burned and toilet paper became currency, developers just kept typing away in the same chair, same posture, same dead-inside expression. The pandemic's biggest plot twist? Absolutely NOTHING changed for us code monkeys! Our natural habitat remained undisturbed - just us and our eternal relationship with that blinking cursor. The rest of humanity finally got to experience our daily reality!

Looking at your old code and deciding the only rational solution is to remove your brain, wash it with gasoline, and hope for the best. That feeling when your past self left you a cryptic masterpiece with zero comments and variable names like 'x', 'temp', and 'iSwearThisWorks'. The gasoline is probably more for drinking at this point.

The AUDACITY of clients to call their soul-crushing, architecture-destroying requests "just a small change"! 💀 Meanwhile, there I am, completely rewriting the entire codebase, questioning my career choices, and contemplating a new life as a goat farmer because their "tiny tweak" just demolished three weeks of work. The look on my face says it all - this is my villain origin story in four panels! That helpless shrug at the end? That's me accepting my fate while my git history weeps in the background.

Listen, when someone questions why you use i and j for loop counters, there's only one valid response: IT'S THE LAW. It's like asking why we drink coffee or hate meetings that could've been emails. Some traditions in programming aren't meant to be questioned—they're sacred knowledge passed down from the ancient CS gods. Using foo and bar as placeholder names, tabs vs spaces, and i , j , k for nested loops... these are the unwritten commandments that separate the true believers from the heretics. Sure, you could use descriptive variable names like index or counter , but then your fellow devs might think you're some kind of revolutionary anarchist. And nobody wants that kind of reputation in the office.