Who's Gonna Tell Him

CSS joins the resistance by removing "ice" from its color name. Revolutionary naming convention or just another reason why frontend developers can't have nice things? Next week: we'll rename padding-right to padding-correct because politics belongs in stylesheets apparently. Your browser will now render in shades of political statements.

Ah, the sacred ritual of TDD explained to the uninitiated! "First, we write a test that fails" – the programming equivalent of setting yourself up for disappointment before you've even had your morning coffee. The real magic of Test-Driven Development isn't just writing tests first; it's experiencing that special kind of existential dread when you realize your implementation is going to be way more complicated than your optimistic little test suggested. Nothing says "professional software engineer" quite like intentionally creating problems for yourself to solve. It's like buying a puzzle, throwing away the picture on the box, and then trying to assemble it in the dark – but somehow it's considered best practice!

Someone created a Wikipedia-style article claiming HTML is a "Turing-complete, stack-based programming language" complete with pseudo-code showing HTML tags as programming commands. This is the digital equivalent of putting a "Caution: Hot" label on ice cream. HTML is a markup language for structuring web content, not a programming language—it can't process data or execute logic. Calling HTML a programming language around actual developers is like calling a bicycle a motorcycle because they both have wheels. The creator of this abomination deserves a special place in developer hell, right next to the people who use regex to parse HTML.

THE AUDACITY! Google just casually destroying careers with the most savage definition ever! 💀 "A developer who is neither good at frontend nor backend." I'm clutching my mechanical keyboard in absolute HORROR! Full stack? More like FULL STACK OF MEDIOCRITY! This is basically a personal attack on 90% of LinkedIn profiles right now. Job descriptions be like "must master 47 frameworks" while Google's out here exposing the brutal truth that we're all just impostors juggling technologies and dropping ALL of them. The circle of red highlighting this definition is basically the digital equivalent of my manager's red pen on my code review.

OMG, the ULTIMATE browser betrayal!!! 😱 Chrome went from being the hot new alternative that made us all turn our heads away from Firefox, to becoming the very monster we once fled from! The irony is so thick you could debug it with a breakpoint. Firefox got a glow-up while Chrome just got... more Google-y. It's the tech equivalent of the nerdy kid becoming prom king while the popular jock peaked in high school. The browser tables have COMPLETELY TURNED and I am LIVING for this drama! History really does repeat itself in the most savage way possible.

PHP has been declared dead more times than a horror movie villain, yet somehow it's still powering like 80% of the web. The language that everyone loves to hate but secretly depends on is basically the tech equivalent of that cockroach that survives the nuclear apocalypse. Modern frameworks? Got 'em. Composer package management? Check. Type hinting? Sure, why not. Meanwhile, the "cool kids" with their shiny new JavaScript frameworks are on version 47.3.2 and your app broke because someone updated a dependency by one minor version. PHP's secret to immortality? It just works. No idea how. No idea why. It just refuses to die, much to the chagrin of computer science professors everywhere.