Who's Gonna Tell Him

Java? Mild concern. JavaScript? Complete nuclear meltdown of the brain. The perfect representation of developers who thought they were getting into Java's younger sibling only to discover it's an entirely unrelated language with type coercion that would make a mathematician cry. "Oh, '2' + 2 equals '22'? Sure, why not. Let's also make null == undefined but null !== undefined because consistency is for the weak."

Frontend dev: "I can't center this div!" Backend dev: "Hold my coffee, I'll help." *5 minutes later* Frontend dev: "THE DATABASE IS GONE?!" Backend dev: "Well, technically you don't need to center that div anymore..." And that's why we don't let backend devs touch CSS. They'd rather nuke production than figure out display: flex; justify-content: center;

Ah yes, the annual January flood of "Learn to Code in 24 Hours" videos that somehow take 3 hours to explain a for loop. The internet's equivalent of gym membership sales after New Year's. Just wait until February when they all mysteriously pivot to crypto tutorials.

Government agencies finally entering the digital age but making the worst possible tech choices? *Chef's kiss* Nothing says "we hired consultants from 2003" quite like rejecting clean, lightweight JSON in favor of bloated XML files that require a PhD to parse. The kind of decision that makes developers contemplate career changes to literally anything else. Fun fact: Some government systems still use COBOL, a language older than the moon landing. At this rate, they'll discover JSON around the same time we colonize Mars.

The entire software industry nervously looking away when doctors point out that Googling doesn't make you a professional. Meanwhile, 90% of our code is just StackOverflow solutions with the variable names changed. If doctors built bodies the way we build software, they'd be transplanting organs from WebMD comment sections and hoping the patient doesn't blue screen.

When the dev who built your UI validation thought phone numbers were just decorative elements. Somewhere out there, a database is screaming as it stores "74626282613" with no country code, formatting, or validation whatsoever. The slider is a particularly nice touch - nothing says "professional application" like measuring phone digits on a scale from "not enough" to "way too many."