How Your Webdev Boyfriend Makes Money

The meme shows a fake news headline about Larry Tesler (the actual inventor of cut, copy, paste) dying, with a reaction image of a man crying below captioned "Every Programmer Ever." Without Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V, we'd all be typing "console.log" 500 times a day instead of just once and duplicating it. The true unsung hero of our profession isn't the person who invented loops—it's the guy who made it possible to steal code from Stack Overflow without retyping it. A moment of silence for our productivity savior.

OMG, the sheer AUDACITY of CSS to literally push a bridge off the river! 😱 That negative margin just YEETED the bridge right off the water! This is what happens when frontend developers try to build actual infrastructure - you get a bridge that's not even TRYING to do its one job! Whoever wrote margin-left: -100px; clearly never had to cross this river during a rainy season. The horror! The drama! The utterly unusable transportation!

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute TRAUMA of learning TypeScript after JavaScript is like having your brain wiped by that Men in Black neuralyzer! One minute you're happily writing code without caring what type anything is, living your best chaotic JavaScript life, and then BOOM! TypeScript comes along demanding to know the EXACT TYPE of every. single. variable. you've ever created! Suddenly you're drowning in interfaces, generics, and union types while your precious JavaScript knowledge evaporates into the void. It's like TypeScript looked at your JavaScript skills and said "That's cute, now forget EVERYTHING you know about being flexible with data types!" 💀

The eternal JavaScript developer dilemma: "Need to turn a screw? Just import a screwdriver library!" *2 seconds later* "Great, now my project depends on 17,482 packages including three different implementations of left-pad, a Bitcoin miner, and something suspiciously called 'definitely-not-keylogger'." The node_modules folder - where simple tasks require importing the entire supply chain of the global hardware industry, complete with factories you didn't know existed and dependencies that will break in mysterious ways during your demo.

When you're so committed to social engineering that you add a malicious link in the "Report Phishing" button itself. That's like putting a bear trap inside the bear trap warning sign. The perfect crime until some security engineer actually checks the code during their quarterly audit that was supposed to happen last year.

Writing regex from scratch is basically a criminal offense in the developer world. It's like trying to defuse a bomb while blindfolded—sure, it might work, but the chances of creating an eldritch horror that matches everything except what you want are astronomically high. Even seasoned developers break out in cold sweats when faced with crafting regex patterns without the safety net of StackOverflow or regex101.com. The prison inmate's reaction is completely justified—this is the kind of reckless behavior that gets your pull requests rejected and your commit privileges revoked!