A Cat Having A 404 Moment

The four stages of Stack Overflow disillusionment: 1. You start as an innocent pink square with a question 2. You naively decide "let's ask Stack Overflow!" (still smiling, poor thing) 3. Your question gets flagged as "DUPLICATE OF SLIGHTLY RELATED QUESTION FROM 2006" that uses deprecated libraries and doesn't actually solve your problem 4. You return to being a square, but with PTSD and a solemn vow: "NEVER AGAIN." And that's how developers learn to debug by staring at their code for 8 hours instead of asking for help!

The eternal zombie apocalypse of PHP development in one perfect timeline! From 1995's "PHP is dead, use ColdFusion!" to 2002's ASP.NET hype train, through Ruby on Rails and Django eras, all the way to 2018's NextJS revolution... yet somehow PHP keeps shambling along despite three decades of obituaries. It's the cockroach of programming languages—surviving nuclear winters, framework fads, and endless "X is the PHP killer" declarations. By 2025, we'll all be attending its 30th birthday party while secretly writing The real joke? Half the internet still runs on it. Complicated love indeed.

Ah, the classic "I know a programmer" tax in action! Nothing says friendship like asking for a free app at 8 AM and expecting you to both design AND build it. The smooth "That's where you come in!" is basically code for "I have absolutely no idea how this works but I'm sure you can whip it up by lunchtime." This is the digital equivalent of asking a doctor friend to check out your weird rash at a dinner party. Bonus points for the early morning ambush when your defenses are down and you haven't had enough coffee to calculate the 300+ hours of unpaid labor they're casually requesting.

Behold the duality of the web! While the private sector is out here flexing with React, Vue, and whatever framework dropped last Tuesday, government websites are still rocking that sweet HTML 3.0 vibe with Times New Roman and blue hyperlinks you've already clicked. Nothing says "we take digital security seriously" like a website that looks like it was built when dial-up was considered high-speed and "cloud computing" meant checking the weather forecast. Yet somehow these ancient digital relics still manage to collect your taxes with 99.99% efficiency. Priorities, am I right?

Expectation: "Lightweight and performant, just the way I like it." *smiles in Mr. Incredible* Reality: *horrified face* as your "simple" app balloons from 25MB to a monstrous 739MB. Nothing says "modern web development" quite like shipping an entire Chrome browser with your calculator app. Your 2GB RAM laptop is sweating nervously in the corner while you explain to users that your "lightweight" app just needs a quick 800MB download. But hey, at least it's cross-platform!

OH. MY. GOD. Someone just discovered GitHub isn't the download section of Best Buy! 😱 The ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of trying to find that precious .exe file on a platform that's LITERALLY DESIGNED for source code sharing! It's like walking into a library and having a meltdown because they don't sell hamburgers! THE HORROR! GitHub stores CODE, sweetie - you know, those magical text files developers use before they're compiled into executables? You're supposed to clone the repo or download the source and build it yourself like a grown-up developer! But sure, let's blame the "weirdest file sharing site" because clicking that big green "Code" button and understanding what a repository is would be TOO MUCH EFFORT! 💅