A Cat Having A 404 Moment

Spent $89 on that ultra-silent ergonomic mouse only for JavaScript to expose your every click like an overeager surveillance system. The addEventListener('click') doesn't care about your "silent" hardware—it's catching those clicks regardless of how much you paid for that fancy no-sound mouse. The DOM sees all, hears all. Your attempts at stealth clicking during midnight coding sessions? Completely irrelevant to the event propagation system that powers the web.

Biblical Solomon may have claimed "nothing new under the sun," but he clearly never witnessed the existential crisis of showing someone a UUID for the first time. That string of random characters might as well be ancient hieroglyphics to non-technical folks. Meanwhile, developers know it's just a universally unique identifier doing its job—ensuring your database doesn't implode when two users create accounts at the exact same millisecond. The shocked face perfectly captures that moment when you realize the gulf between "it's just a UUID" and "WHAT IS THIS CRYPTIC SORCERY?!" after casually mentioning it in a meeting with marketing.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of me thinking I could actually finish a project before getting absolutely DESTROYED by OAuth setup! 💀 There I am, boxing gloves on, ready to conquer the world with my BRILLIANT new app idea, strutting around like I'm the next tech billionaire... and then BAM! OAuth shows up and knocks me right off my high horse into the pit of configuration despair. Just sitting there, sipping water, utterly defeated by client IDs, secret keys, and redirect URIs that refuse to cooperate. The dream dies not with a bang but with a whimper of "invalid_grant_error" for the 47th time. And they say programming is fun! THE BETRAYAL!

Expectation: "Lightweight and performant, just the way I like it." *smiles in Mr. Incredible* Reality: *horrified face* as your "simple" app balloons from 25MB to a monstrous 739MB. Nothing says "modern web development" quite like shipping an entire Chrome browser with your calculator app. Your 2GB RAM laptop is sweating nervously in the corner while you explain to users that your "lightweight" app just needs a quick 800MB download. But hey, at least it's cross-platform!

Ah, the funeral for uBlock Origin, scheduled for July 2025. Firefox is there pointing at the tombstone like "you seeing this?" while Chrome stands nearby looking suspiciously guilty. Google's plan to kill ad blockers with Manifest V3 is basically sending flowers to its own revenue stream. Firefox users just sitting here with popcorn watching Chrome users discover what the internet looks like without ad blocking. It's like watching someone experience pop-up ads for the first time since 2005.

PHP has been declared dead more times than a character in a soap opera, yet it powers about 77% of the web. It's the tech equivalent of that one cockroach that survives nuclear winter. Modern frameworks like Laravel have given it life support, but developers still look at it with the same bewilderment as someone witnessing a zombie doing taxes. "It shouldn't be alive, but here we are."