The Programmer-Stuck-In-Vim Keyboard Heatmap

The ultimate privacy solution: replace every Google service with Vim. Because nothing says "I value my digital freedom" like editing your emails with keyboard shortcuts that require a PhD to memorize. Want to check your calendar? Just type :calendar and pray you remember how to exit. Need directions? Good luck rendering Google Maps in ASCII. The irony of replacing ChatGPT with Vim is just *chef's kiss* - trading one text interface that understands you for one that makes you want to throw your computer out the window.

The rare sighting of a programming purist in the wild! This developer has achieved mythical status by rejecting all modern conveniences: No cursor? Check. No AI assistants? Check. No search engine? Check. Just a human, a rusty ThinkPad, Vim, man pages, and Arch Linux. This is like watching someone hunt with a sharpened stick while everyone else uses rifles. Either this person is the final boss of programming or they're just showing off their digital masochism in public. The "psychopath" label is just what normal devs call someone who makes them feel guilty about their 57 Chrome tabs of Stack Overflow answers.

The ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of a programmer's social life!!! Your brain literally stores people's names like Vim keybindings that you can't remember when needed. "Oh, I know this person's name... let me just... *frantically searches mental database*... ERROR 404: NAME NOT FOUND." Then you desperately try to escape the conversation with some made-up Vim command because your social battery just CRASHED harder than a production server during a demo. The ":wq to exit conversation" part is just *chef's kiss* - the universal cry for help when human interaction exceeds RAM capacity!

Ah, the classic Vim switcheroo! Nothing says "I'm a hardcore developer" like claiming to use Vim while secretly wielding Visual Studio Code behind the scenes. It's the programming equivalent of pretending you read Kafka when your bookshelf is actually full of Marvel comics. The white-knuckle grip on those cards tells the whole story—the desperate attempt to maintain street cred among terminal purists while enjoying the sweet, sweet comfort of modern IDE features. Because let's face it, nobody wants to admit they'd rather have intellisense than carpal tunnel syndrome from typing :wq! eight thousand times a day.

The eternal battle between AI evangelists and Unix veterans continues. One side thinks neural networks are magical solutions to everything, while the other knows that most problems can be solved by turning it off and on again. The real intelligence was the force-quit shortcuts we learned along the way.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute DEVOLUTION of programmers is too real! 😭 On the left, we have the CHAD programmer of yesteryear - building an ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEM FROM SCRATCH, talking directly to God, and casually mentioning CIA conspiracies while coding in 640x480 resolution like some kind of digital BARBARIAN! And what do we have now? A pathetic little doge in a coffee sweater, TRAPPED in Vim, desperately clinging to Stack Overflow and Spotify for emotional support! Can't even exit a text editor without begging for help! The audacity! The TRAGEDY! For the uninitiated: TempleOS was an operating system coded entirely by one man (Terry Davis) who claimed divine inspiration. Meanwhile, Vim is that text editor where generations of programmers have been held hostage because nobody remembers how to exit it (it's :q! by the way, YOU'RE WELCOME).