Free Gift

Corporate espionage at its finest. Imagine hiring developers from your competitor only to discover they've been secretly committing garbage code to your repos. The anime facepalm perfectly captures that moment when you realize the "talent acquisition" was actually a Trojan horse operation. The Japanese "計画" (keikaku) in the title translates to "plan" - a nod to the classic anime meme "all according to keikaku," because nothing says strategic sabotage like unnecessarily using Japanese terms in your evil plotting.

The eternal comedy of our industry: Manager wants a feature for "authorized paying users" but tells dev to "implement authentication." Dev with actual security knowledge asks the critical question – authentication or authorization? – only to be met with blank stares and "There's a difference?" For the uninitiated (and apparently the manager): Authentication is proving you are who you say you are (login/password). Authorization is determining what you're allowed to do once identified. The final panel showing the desperate Google search is the universal developer coping mechanism after 10 years of explaining this distinction to people who'll forget it by the next sprint planning.

The duality of AI code reviews. Non-technical folks see a magical solution that writes perfect code while senior devs spot the nested callbacks, security vulnerabilities, and performance nightmares lurking beneath the surface. It's like watching someone admire a beautifully painted house without noticing it's built on quicksand. The hallucinated documentation is just the cherry on top of this algorithmic disaster cake.

SWEET MOTHER OF SKILL REQUIREMENTS! Left side: an absolute APOCALYPSE of tech logos - AWS, Docker, Kubernetes, Linux, security certifications, and about 47 other technologies that no human could possibly master in one lifetime. Right side: Excel. Just... Excel. Because apparently after demanding you be a cybersecurity ninja, cloud architect, and full-stack developer with 20 years of experience in 3-year-old technologies, what they ACTUALLY need is someone who can make a pivot table. The tech industry is having an absolute identity crisis and I'm here for the chaos! 💀

The classic "we fixed all the bugs" to "oh god we're hacked" pipeline. Declaring victory over bugs is basically sending a formal invitation to the universe to immediately prove you wrong. SQL injection on the login form is like leaving your front door unlocked with a sign saying "definitely no valuables inside." Somewhere, a database admin just felt a disturbance in the force and doesn't know why they suddenly need a drink.

Top panel: "Oh look at my cute little website with its adorable traffic spike at 7pm!" Bottom panel: *Cold sweat intensifies* Someone's trying to access every single .env file, config, and AWS credential on your server. Nothing says "welcome to the internet" quite like watching hackers systematically probe your site's defenses while you realize your security is about as robust as a chocolate teapot. Pro tip: if your logs look like this, you're not having a website - a website is having you.