Just One More Hook Bro

Grandpa Simpson is basically every senior dev watching juniors slap flex justify-between items-center p-4 rounded-md shadow-lg on everything without understanding what a float is. The CSS purists are sitting on their tree stumps of righteousness while the rest of us are just trying to ship products without writing 200 lines of media queries. Yes, frameworks can be overkill, but have you tried centering a div without one? That's the real horror story.

Remember when the web was just static HTML? Those were simpler times. Now we're over here connecting Redux thunks to Suspense while our node_modules folder consumes half our hard drive space. JavaScript started as a tiny language to make form validation less painful, but somehow evolved into this monster where your shopping cart app needs 807 dependencies just to render "undefined apples please" to the screen. The best part? We've collectively convinced ourselves this is normal. Meanwhile, Flash—problematic as it was—is dead, but we've replaced it with an ecosystem so complex that half the developers using it don't understand what's happening under the hood. But hey, at least we can run JavaScript everywhere now. Even places it absolutely shouldn't be.

Ah, the sweet release of framework fatigue! That moment when you've been drowning in an endless sea of JavaScript frameworks—React today, Vue tomorrow, Svelte next week—and finally say "nope, I'm done." The spiritual rebirth of crawling back to jQuery feels like emerging from a baptismal pool of complexity. No more dependency hell, no more webpack config nightmares, just good ol' $('.selector').doStuff() and suddenly you're sleeping like a baby again. Framework FOMO? Cured! Who needs 17MB of node_modules when you can have a single 30KB file that just works? It's like trading in your experimental rocket ship for a reliable bicycle—sure it's not as flashy, but you'll actually reach your destination without exploding!

Nothing screams "I'm a modern developer" quite like spending 8 hours implementing a Spotify API integration to show your current jam, but completely forgetting to include links to your actual code. Because clearly what hiring managers really care about is that you listen to Imagine Dragons while coding, not your ability to, you know, build things that work . The dark mode toggle is just the cherry on top of this portfolio sundae of misplaced priorities. The irony is that Tom and Spike are rushing toward something important while Jerry (the actual talent) trails behind - just like how those GitHub links and demo URLs are trailing behind your CSS animations and fancy scroll effects.

DARLING, SWEETIE, HONEY! A new JavaScript framework just launched? How utterly GROUNDBREAKING! 🙄 The JavaScript ecosystem is LITERALLY DROWNING in frameworks that pop up faster than mushrooms after rain! That poor glowing skeleton is all of us - absolutely DEVASTATED by the sheer AUDACITY of yet another framework claiming to revolutionize web development. The skeleton's response is pure GOLD: "Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?" Because HONESTLY, at this point announcing you're a new JS framework is like announcing you're wearing socks. Nobody. Is. Impressed.

Found in the wild depths of npm: a package called "react-buttplug" that connects React to... well, exactly what you think. The description "Here there be WASM" is the cherry on top of this cursed sundae. The fact that someone spent actual development hours creating a React provider for Buttplug.io (a real "intimate hardware" API) and then published it with that name is peak developer humor. Five years later and zero dependents - shocking absolutely no one. This is what happens when you tell developers "you can build anything" without adding "but please don't."