The Circle Of Frontend Hell

OMG, the AUDACITY of this meme! 😱 You start with Jetpack Compose thinking "I'll just make a simple top bar" and BOOM! 💥 Suddenly you're drowning in a sea of TopAppBar , MaterialTheme.colorScheme.primary , Scaffold lambdas, and SnackbarHostState madness! The learning curve isn't a curve—it's a VERTICAL CLIFF OF DOOM! And that smug expert with the propeller hat? THE WORST. They're basically saying "Oh sweetie, you thought you could just... *add a top bar*? How ADORABLY NAIVE!" Welcome to Android development, where what should take 5 minutes takes 5 HOURS of documentation diving! 🏊‍♂️📚

Content Imperative stoneager Uses sed, awk, grep... on a daily TASTES 3 character long variable names "00P is literally Hitler" Never bashes rychon or Javascript. proudly uses them to make elitists Wrote 95 of all programs that power the modern world Doesn't care what OS or editor hee MIs main machine nappens to be a 2013 MacbOOk Air he got as a git Writes his own software runctiona elitist Watches Computerphile, thinks it's accuac programming "Monad g000" "Lazy evaluation good" "Loop bad" "Mutate bad" "Imperative not elegant" writes code on paper to avoid side effects Responsible or 0 lines or code in produccion Uses Emacs with a light theme on an oLd Debian machine Uses software written by imperative stoneager 00P boilerplater -obsessed newager His job consists of writing the same boilerplate code every single day and he LOVES it "Rust will replace C and C" Always includes a safety section in his documentation Watches Bob Martin, thinks the quy is a genius "Here is this awesome PR, bro, it replaces vour unsate code with my slow and verbose but safe code" His variable names consist of at easts whole words "Oh, I need an object for this piece of data, let me make a class No support for macOS, but writes an entire page of documentation on how to hack an installation on windows real ack to anticinate all the Best he's ever accomplished is possible scenarios mav or mav not writing a colored version or cat encounter in the far future" and Ls Responsible for 95 of all lines of . Uses Neovin with Grusboy color code in the world scheme on Arch Linux Uses JetBrains IDES on windows Uses bloated proprietary software Mechanical keyboard, 34-inch monitor no zoom when he screencasts, if you can't see too had

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute HORROR of sending an email to EVERYONE in the BCC field with their emails FULLY VISIBLE! 💀 This is the frontend developer's nightmare incarnate! While backend devs worry about database crashes, we're over here having panic attacks about proper email etiquette and UI disasters! That poor Iconfinder team just accidentally doxxed their entire mailing list because someone couldn't figure out how to use the "To:" field correctly. The digital equivalent of showing up to a presentation with your fly down and toilet paper stuck to your shoe SIMULTANEOUSLY! This is why we frontend people obsess over every pixel and user interaction—because when we mess up, EVERYONE can see it!

Content no one: me after getting arduino led to blink for the first time:

When someone drops the bombshell that your precious native apps are essentially just fancy wrappers for web content, your entire developer identity crumbles. The existential crisis hits hard enough to require a bottle of whiskey and some serious soul-searching. It's that moment of horrific clarity when you realize you've spent years arguing about native vs web while Electron apps quietly took over the world. And deep down you know... it's all just HTTP requests with prettier buttons.

Content You know anything about Wordpress since you code? It's like a ai website designer iMessage