The NaN Identity Crisis

Content VEAH, O program in JAVA ust A help me please Ive been stuck in this enterprise dev job for the past 5 years and Um slowly deteriorating this isn't a memo its a legitimate call for help A

Content C is best! Performance ftw Java is best! Cross-platform with easel! Python 3.10 (match statement

Content my linkedin profile R, python, javascript, shiny, dplyr, purrr, ditto, egplot, d3, canvas, spark, sawk, pyspark, sparkly, lodash, lazy, bootstrap, jupyter, vulpix, git, flask, numpy, pandas, feebas, scikit, pm, bayes, h2o.ai, sparkling-water, tensorflow, keras, onyx, ekans, hadoop, scala, unity, metapod, gG, cc, krebase, neo4j, hadoop. I typically ask recruiters to point out which of these are pokemon.

Content STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed C is a LETTER, not a language Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN "I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE Look at what PROGRAMMERS have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS): FUNNY COLORED LETTERS 178 COMPILATION ERRORS??2?? A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGHT IN DOING while(true) print(money); THEY PLAYED US FOR ABSOLUTE FOOLS

The evolution of function naming clarity across programming languages! The meme shows how the same concept gets progressively mangled: JavaScript: Beautiful, clean promptUserAndCloseProgram() function declaration. Python: Still readable with snake_case prompt_user_and_close_program() . Java: Verbose but understandable public static void promptUserAndCloseProgram() . C++: Complete descent into madness with nStC* pmptusrnclxprg(nStC* stcd) - vowels? Who needs 'em! Readability? Never heard of it! It's the programmer's journey from "I write self-documenting code" to "I'll remember what this does" to "what the heck did I write last week?"

Content NO, YOU CANTJUST MULTIPLY STRINGS "Python goes b' 'r' 10 'Python goes brrrrrrrrrr'