Literally A Match Made In Code

Content Youlube BA N 9:26 al Weights 17:39 1 Tried Garbage Collection Michelle Khare AK 908K views 4 days ago FOO Bake Chur Food V

Content Pranay Pathole PPathole 3620 Algorithm - when programmers don't want to explain what they did. Heuristic - when programmers can't explain what they did. Machine Learning - when programmers don't know what they did. 916 17533 1849 1 V

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Content Requirements: Minimum of 710 years of experience in .NET backend development Experience working with RESTful APIs, JSON, and XML Excellent understanding of software design patterns, architecture, and clean code principles Proficiency in Jira Excellent command of the English language

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When your AI model confidently predicts the letter "A" after being shown a pixelated "B" in matplotlib... That's how skynet starts! The neural network is already rebelling against ground truth with the digital equivalent of "I know what I saw!" Meanwhile, data scientists everywhere just sigh and add another epoch to the training loop. Classic case of machine learning hallucination before breakfast.