What Programming Is Actually Like

Content ME Why can't you just be normal? regex W-.(Ow-11.)w-K2.43

That glorious moment when you finally cave and buy a second monitor, and suddenly your entire existence transforms from a pathetic single-screen peasant to DUAL-MONITOR ROYALTY! The missing puzzle piece in your developer soul wasn't love or purpose—it was 1920 more pixels of pure, unadulterated screen real estate! Once you've tasted the forbidden fruit of dragging windows between monitors instead of alt-tabbing like a caveman, there's absolutely NO GOING BACK. Your productivity has increased by approximately 4000% (or at least that's what you tell yourself to justify the expense).

Content EXCUSE ME, SIR IS THIS YOUR CODE? YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WROTE IT? THAT MEANS, YOU MUST KNOW HOW IT WORKS? THEN HOW DOES IT WORK? YUP YUP MAKES SENSE TO ME NO IDEA

Content New clients: "It's an old framework sure but at least it's user-friendly!" Their old framework:

When normal people ask for your address, they want your house number and street name. But ask a developer, and you'll unlock their final form of networking nerdery. First, they hit you with a private IP address (173.168.16.11) like they're giving out nuclear launch codes. When pushed for a "local" address, they retreat to the ultimate programmer safe space - localhost (127.0.0.1) - because home is where your server runs. And when specifically asked for a physical address? They go full galaxy-brain with a MAC address (28:05:FF:58:31:05). It's like asking someone where they live and they respond with their DNA sequence. Developers: making simple questions complicated since the invention of the network stack.

Content YEAR O YEAR X LET ME WRITE THIS CODE IN ONE LINE WITH COMPLEX ABSTRACTIONS. I AM SO CLEVER! LET ME WRITE THIS CODE SUCH THAT FUTURE-ME CAN EASILY UNDERSTAND IT. workchronicles.com Hello. I make comics about work. Join rworkchronicles or follow me on Instagram Twitter FB Work Chronicles workchronicles.com