The four horsemen of tech career desperation! When the code stops compiling and the paychecks might follow suit:
Plan A: Become a crypto day trader. Because nothing says "stable income" like watching green and red candles while having seven heart attacks before lunch.
Plan B: Professional gambling. Trading Stack Overflow reputation for actual poker chips. The odds might actually be better than debugging that legacy codebase.
Plan C: Find a rich elderly partner. Swapping "dependency injection" for just "dependency." Hey, explaining what an API is for the 47th time is still easier than explaining why your PR broke production.
Plan D: Become a drug kingpin. From distributing packages via npm to... well, distributing "packages." At least the user feedback is more consistent.