Their Greed Sickens Me

When you're the only person who actually knows how the codebase works and you're about to bounce, suddenly everyone wants a piece of you. The PM needs "just a quick handoff doc" (translation: your entire brain downloaded into a Word file), HR is scrambling to figure out how to replace the irreplaceable, and the CEO finally remembers you exist after ignoring your Slack messages for 6 months.

Meanwhile, you're just vibing at the party knowing you hold all the cards. The best part? They probably should've thought about this before offering you a 2% raise while the company just raised another $50M round. Enjoy that legacy code, folks. Hope someone left comments... oh wait, that was supposed to be your job, and you're outta here! 🎉