The Vampire Coder Chronicles

Content NOT SURE IF I AM A GOOD PROGRAMMING OR GOOD AT GOOGLING

Content Excuse me Is this the Emacs course?

Content Your Mother's Professor lizardgovpeople In high school my friend connected a wireless mouse to the teacher's computer to mess with him and it took him like three days to figure it out. He was the computer teacher. The high school computer teacher. Then, he gave my friend detention for "hacking" him. Stem Ed. Is a joke

The joke here is statistical illiteracy meets programming career advice. The person took an online IQ test, scored 80 (below average), but somehow thinks they're in the top 90.88% (which actually means bottom 10%). The site hilariously claims they'd be smarter than just 91 people in a room of 1000. The title "New To Programming, What Language Should I Learn With These Specs?" is the punchline - implying that someone who can't understand basic percentiles is ready to dive into coding. It's the perfect setup for the classic programming forum question: "What language should I learn first?" when the real issue is much more fundamental. For anyone who's spent time in programming communities, this hits close to home. The number of people who skip past basic math/logic and jump straight to "which framework is hottest right now?" is too damn high!

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of cybersecurity teams! 😱 When you're desperately wandering around like a blind Bart Simpson trying to get help with actual security issues, they're NOWHERE to be found! But the MILLISECOND you name a test variable "test_secret" in some throwaway file that will never see production? SUDDENLY they've got NASA-grade telescope vision and are BREATHING DOWN YOUR NECK like you've just committed high treason against the state! The audacity! The drama! The sheer ridiculousness of it all! Meanwhile your actual security concerns are collecting dust somewhere in ticket purgatory. #SecurityTheaterAtItsFinest

The irony of a tech billionaire complaining about writing code on paper while his grammatical error proves the exact point universities are trying to make. Nothing says "I'm ready for production" like code that can't compile because you wrote "makes us programmer" instead of "makes us programmers." Universities aren't teaching you to code on paper because it's fun - they're teaching you to think before you type. Just like proofreading before you post a sign to millions of people.