The Scariest Kind Of Programmers

Content BUG BUG Developer working on their last task of the day CHANGE REQUEST Client

Top panel: "How to make a responsive website" written on a whiteboard by someone who's about to drop some knowledge bombs. Bottom panel: Their actual website telling mobile users "Screen width too small. Please increase the window size or rotate to load. If you are on a mobile phone, please open on a desktop." Nothing says "I'm a responsive design expert" quite like a website that doesn't work on mobile. It's the digital equivalent of a swimming instructor who can't swim but has a really nice PowerPoint about water.

Content Akhil Singh akhilbits My uber driver today told me that he can code in python and php. Now he is learning Hadoop. But he'll continue to drive as he earns more this way. He said that he gets more trips than other drivers because he understands how uber algorithm works.

Shocking revelation: you can build software without paying for fancy SaaS tools. Next up: water is wet. This thumbnail perfectly captures the "enlightened developer" phenomenon where someone discovers open source alternatives to paid services and acts like they've cracked the Da Vinci code. Sure, you could pay for Replit, Lovable, or Bolt... or you could just use the thousands of free tools that have existed since the dawn of computing. Revolutionary stuff here, folks. Your wallet and that shocked expression on your face can finally take a break.

The programming world's benevolent dictator has been canonized! Gabe Newell (aka GabeN), founder of Valve and overlord of Steam, dressed as the Pope is absolutely perfect. He already controls what games 95% of PC gamers can play, might as well make it official with some divine authority. His blessing would turn bug fixes into miracles and his patch notes into scripture. The ultimate sudo command—not even root access can compete with papal infallibility. Just imagine the Steam Summer Sale being declared a religious holiday!

The four stages of developer enlightenment, perfectly captured in Mr. Incredible's gradual descent into madness. Starts with the blissful ignorance of coding—where you're just vibing, making things work somehow. Then debugging hits and you're slightly unhinged but still optimistic. By version control, you've seen things... dark things... like merge conflicts that make you question reality. And finally, DevOps—where your soul has left your body and you've become one with the void, deploying microservices at 3 AM while muttering "it works on my machine" into the abyss. The progression isn't just about difficulty—it's about the spiritual journey from "I write code" to "I am become Death, destroyer of production environments."