The Scariest Kind Of Programmers

Content Work is slow today. Suddenly 30 support tickets.

Content Software engineers: it's just too expensive to optimize our code, also computers will be faster anyway in a few years Hardware engineers:

Content Normal programming True False Quantum programming Frlse

The irony of complaining you can't find a programmer girlfriend while she's sitting at home with the exact same setup as you, avoiding human contact for the same reasons. Two introverts in their natural habitats will never cross paths unless someone's Git repo gets accidentally forked. The plants are probably the most socially active entities in both apartments.

Ah, the classic cloud cost nightmare. Nothing quite matches the existential dread of forgetting to set spending limits on Azure and discovering your monthly bill has more digits than your phone number. The rope reference is just the cherry on top of this financial disaster sundae. It's the cloud computing equivalent of leaving the water running for a month while on vacation. Except instead of flooding your house, you've flooded your company's entire quarterly budget. Pro tip: Set. Those. Limits. Or prepare to explain to your boss why the dev environment for your pet project cost more than the CEO's salary.

Content Why? Why? Why? Oh, that's why.