The Five-Minute Developer Euphoria Cycle

The five stages of developer grief happen in approximately 5 minutes flat. First comes the euphoria—arms raised, dopamine flowing, convinced you're about to build the next billion-dollar unicorn. Then reality strikes faster than a compiler error on line 1. Suddenly you're staring into the void, questioning your career choices and wondering if it's too late to become a professional dog walker.

The gap between "I'm a coding genius with revolutionary ideas" and "I can't figure out why this basic function returns undefined" is approximately 300 seconds. It's almost impressive how quickly we go from tech visionary to existential crisis.