The Circle Of Programmer Humor Hell

Content 11IS11 -1 THAT'S 10 JavaScript QUICK MATHS

Someone standing proudly in front of a Windows Vista launch banner that reads "The 'Wow' starts now." The title references Apple's new Liquid Glass while essentially saying "I've seen operating systems make empty promises before." Vista promised revolutionary experiences but delivered driver incompatibilities and BSODs instead. Veterans of the OS wars carry these scars like badges of honor. Young devs excited about Apple's new tech have no idea what disappointment feels like.

Content MY SERVICES ARE SO FAST AND STABLE NO ONE EVER SEES MY CUSTOM SKELETON LOADERS

Ah, the classic startup job description that translates to: "We need someone willing to sacrifice their entire existence for our product while we disguise burnout as passion." The red flags are brighter than a production server on fire! Basically saying "Don't apply if you value silly things like sleep, mental health, or having a life outside our codebase." Meanwhile, the green section might as well say "Perfect candidates include robots, workaholics, and people who've never heard of labor laws." The 2AM text messages part is particularly hilarious. Because nothing says "we respect your expertise" like a midnight Slack notification asking why the production database is suddenly speaking Klingon. Fun fact: Studies show that productivity dramatically decreases after 50 hours of work per week, but hey, who needs science when you have "massive rewards later" (which usually means stock options in a company with a 90% chance of failing).

Content A COMPUTER CAN NEVER BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE THEREFORE A COMPUTER MUST NEVER MAKE A MANAGEMENT DECISION

Content THE STRUGGLE DEV QA FEATURE FOUND A BUG MONKEYUSER.COM