Stock photo horror

Content 5!120 Programmers Mathematicians

The ancient tech shamans have spoken! Apparently, computers aren't just silicon and circuits—they're temperamental deities demanding respect and offerings. Ever notice how your perfectly functional code suddenly implodes when someone else watches? Or how that printer works flawlessly for the IT guy but transforms into a demonic entity when you approach? That's not coincidence—that's you lacking sufficient "computer mana." The true masters of debugging don't actually fix anything. They just walk into the room with their mythical aura of computer respect, and suddenly everything works. No code changes, no hardware fixes—just pure technological intimidation. Next time your build fails, try whispering sweet nothings to your compiler instead of checking Stack Overflow.

When the PM says "make sure your documentation is thorough," and you take it literally. Nothing says developer energy like documenting the painfully obvious while completely ignoring the complex parts of your codebase. "How to use this API? Figure it out yourself. How to open a pizza box? Let me write you a dissertation." Ten years in the industry and I've yet to see documentation that isn't either stating the absolute obvious or so cryptic it might as well be written in hieroglyphics. The middle ground simply doesn't exist in our universe.

Content WHENVOUJO AMENTERPRISELEGACY COMPANYAND EVERYONE LEAVES IN MONTHS MAKING YOU THE MOST SENIOR(BUT NOT IN PAPER (chuckles) I'm in danger.

First you hate LaTeX with its bizarre syntax and formatting quirks. Then you reluctantly try it. Next thing you know, you're completely entranced by those perfectly typeset equations and bibliographies that actually work. It's the Stockholm syndrome of document preparation systems. You start screaming at it, then you're eating out of its hand, and finally you're staring dreamily into space wondering how you ever lived without those beautiful kerned mathematical symbols.

Content Creating a project from scratch Creating a project in scratch