Senior Dev Starter Pack

You know you've made it when your main contribution to the sprint is being a glorified Stack Overflow with a pulse. That big tortoise slowly trudging forward while carrying a whole family of baby tortoises? That's you on Tuesday morning, dragging your team of fresh bootcamp grads through production while they ask why their console.log isn't working in prod.

The velocity might be glacial, but somehow you're still shipping features. You're answering the same "what's a promise?" question for the third time this week, reviewing PRs that make you question your career choices, and explaining why we can't just "push directly to main" because "it's faster."

The best part? Management thinks you're a 10x engineer because the team ships code. The reality? You're just preventing 10x disasters while moving at tortoise speed and wondering if your LinkedIn profile needs updating.