New Gender Just Dropped

The job market's final boss has arrived! On the left: a job description requiring mastery of 20+ technologies including AWS, Kubernetes, Docker, JavaScript, Python, Linux, security tools like CISSP and Palo Alto, plus NIST compliance and .NET. On the right: the actual job? Excel spreadsheet jockey. It's the classic tech industry bait-and-switch where companies demand you know how to build a nuclear reactor just to change the lightbulbs. The recruiter probably thinks "full-stack" means you can stack paper forms into a full pile.

Remember the ancient times of 2022 when we actually had to think for ourselves? The shocking revelation that someone can write code without ChatGPT finishing their sentences is now apparently an exotic skill worth gossiping about. Next they'll be amazed by developers who can fix bugs without StackOverflow or remember their own passwords. What a strange world we live in where not outsourcing your brain to an AI is considered a superpower.

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The duality of developer existence in its purest form. We'll spend hours complaining about our deteriorating spines from sitting all day, then immediately contort ourselves into positions that would make a pretzel jealous. Nothing says "I'm debugging a production issue" quite like becoming a human question mark while coding at 2AM. Ergonomic chair manufacturers weep silently as we defeat their entire industry by sitting literally any way except the intended one. Somehow our bodies find peak coding efficiency when we're twisted like a DNA helix. The worse the posture, the better the code – it's basically science at this point.

The future is now, old man! Someone's shocked that in 2025 some developers still write code without AI assistance, and Kenneth drops the mic with "yeah it's called programming." Remember when we used to solve problems with our brains instead of prompting ChatGPT? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Some devs still have the audacity to use their neurons instead of letting GitHub Copilot write their spaghetti code. The horror! It's like being surprised someone knows how to do math without a calculator. "You mean you're writing SQL queries WITHOUT letting AI hallucinate your database schema? What are you, a caveman?"

The professor just turned every CS student into a human rendering engine! Instead of asking conceptual questions about web development, this exam literally makes students trace through HTML/CSS code and manually draw what the browser would display—complete with images, colors, and layout. It's like forcing someone to execute a 200-line program with pen and paper when computers were literally invented to do this for us. The ultimate "computers make me obsolete so I'll make you BE the computer" power move. Somewhere, a browser engine developer is crying into their coffee.