My Boyfriend The Elite Hacker

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute DELUSION of non-tech people thinking their programmer boyfriends are elite hackers who can destroy digital worlds! Meanwhile, the so-called "hacker boyfriend" is frantically Googling "how to declare variables in HTML" — which is LITERALLY like asking how to put water in a toaster! HTML doesn't even HAVE variables! It's a markup language! The boyfriend is so far from hacking anything he's basically trying to teach a potato to sing opera! 💀