Message I just sent to the CEO of the startup I work at

Content 8 HOURS LOOKING AT PROGRAMMING MEMES 15 MINUTES OF WRITING CODE

The "Travelling Salesman Trolley Problem" brilliantly combines two infamous nightmares: an ethical dilemma and an NP-hard algorithm. While philosophers debate whether to sacrifice one person to save five, computer scientists are still trying to find the optimal route through this graph without having an existential crisis. The joke here is that finding the perfect path is mathematically impossible to solve efficiently—much like trying to explain to your product manager why that "simple feature" will take three months to implement. Just remember: whether you choose the greedy algorithm or dynamic programming approach, someone's deadline is definitely getting run over.

Content HOW TO MAKE MEETINGS SHORTER ME AND THE CHUMS AFTER SPRINT PLANNING ADOTEXT. CON

Content OH YEAH, BABY! TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT! TALK TO ME LIKE YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT! Of course I will still understand my code without comments in two weeks THAT'S PERFECT! Cyanide and Happiness Explosm.net

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of Bogo Sort, the superhero nobody asked for! 💀 This algorithm is literally just shuffling cards until they accidentally fall in order . Seven attempts to sort THREE elements?! I can't even! That's like needing seven tries to put your shoes on the right feet! And the flowchart? Check for sorted → if not, SHUFFLE EVERYTHING and pray to the algorithm gods. That's not a sorting algorithm, that's a gambling addiction with extra steps! The best part? It has "the potential to rival quicksort" in the same way I have the potential to win an Olympic gold medal if they suddenly make procrastination a competitive sport. Theoretical O(1)? Sure, and I'm theoretically dating a supermodel! 🙄

Content RUN C:S Type a simple command into the console Press up key dozens of times until you find it.