Lost Without My Digital Crutches

Content I Am Devloper lamdevloper v Following I've been using Vim for about 2 years now, mostly because I can't figure out how to exit it. Reply 47 Retweet Favorite More RETWEETS FAVORITES 4,846 2,105 4:56 AM - 18 Feb 2014

That moment when you decide to "just run a quick test in production" and suddenly your company's entire infrastructure turns into a safari adventure. Nothing says job security like watching your career flash before your eyes while frantically typing CTRL+Z faster than you've ever typed before. The lion isn't roaring—it's laughing at your commit history.

Looking at that isEven function hurts my soul on a spiritual level. Someone's literally checking if a number is even by hard-coding individual cases (0 is even, 1 is odd, 2 is even, 3 is odd...) instead of just using the modulo operator ( return num % 2 === 0 ). And they're doing this while casually flying 30,000 feet in the air with a gorgeous view! The perfect combo of terrible code and flex. My sanity would jump out that window faster than you can say "runtime complexity."

When your standards have fallen so low that a new error message feels like winning the lottery. The desk covered in crumpled papers tells the whole story - six hours of debugging only to celebrate that the computer found a creative new way to tell you your code is garbage. Progress in programming is measured in increasingly exotic failures.

Content User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke". Tracker: " will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke" Peer 1: "Why d" Peer 2: "cken " Peer 3; "road?" Peer 4: "id th" Peer 3: "cross" Peer 1: "e chi" Peer 5: " the " Peer 2: "the o" Peer 4: "To ge" Peer 1: "side." Peer 5: "ther" Peer 2: "t to "

The universal IT solution that works 60% of the time, every time: turning it off and on again. Nothing quite matches that smug confidence when you stroll into a meeting after "fixing" a critical system by simply hitting restart. Meanwhile, actual IT support people are chasing you down like "WAIT! We need to check the logs first!" Too late. I've already ascended to tech hero status with my sophisticated troubleshooting technique that dates back to the stone age of computing.