Clean And Optimized Code

Nothing quite captures the existential dread of inheriting legacy code like Bugs Bunny contemplating his own mortality. One minute you're confidently accepting the task, the next you're reaching for that metaphorical pistol because the codebase looks like it was written by a caffeinated octopus with a keyboard. The sweet release of death suddenly seems preferable to figuring out why there's a comment saying "Don't touch this or everything breaks" next to a function named temporaryFix2013 . Bonus points if there's zero documentation and the original developer left to "pursue other opportunities" (translation: fled the crime scene).

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of corporate America! 😱 The senior dev abandons ship and what does management do? Promotes the junior who JUST figured out how to center a div—the most BASIC of CSS skills! It's like giving someone a Nobel Prize for learning to tie their shoelaces! The look of pure terror on junior dev's face says it all—he knows he's about to be thrown into the deep end of legacy code with nothing but a div-centering life jacket. Meanwhile, the boss is BEAMING with the confidence of someone who thinks HTML is a programming language. The entire codebase is about to become a dumpster fire of epic proportions!

You know those tech nostalgia videos where they boot up a Windows Vista machine running Electron apps and act shocked it takes 45 minutes to open Slack? Yeah, we get it, computers used to be slower. Turns out when you run bloated modern software on ancient hardware, it doesn't perform well. Groundbreaking observation. Meanwhile, that same old PC could probably run DOS or lightweight Linux distros just fine. But no, let's install Chrome with 47 extensions and wonder why the CPU is crying. It's not the hardware that aged poorly—it's the software that got fat and lazy.

Content Remember this guy? This is him now. Feel old yet?

Content Programmer Ouch. Sea Sharp TheColelither

Content My eyes on StackOverflow 8