A Tale Of My Childhood

Ah, the sacred tradition of developer hazing! Just like mechanics sending apprentices to find "blinker fluid," senior devs have their own version - convincing juniors that a keycap is somehow an API key for production deployments. The best part? That poor junior is probably frantically googling "how to use physical API key" while the senior dev silently cackles in the corner. Next week they'll be searching for the elusive "HTTP packet inspector" and a "cache warming blanket."

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Content Typing a short section of code from scratch Copy-and-pasting a similar section of code from earlier, then deleting andor heavily modifying most of it

OH MY GODDD! The AUDACITY of people using 'i' as a loop variable! It's like wearing socks with sandals in the programming world! 💅 Listen honey, we've evolved past single-letter variables - it's 2024 and we deserve better! Next thing you know, these savages will be using 'j' for nested loops and 'x' for temporary variables. THE HORROR! Give me my 'currentIndex' or give me death! *dramatically faints onto keyboard*

Remember when we had to optimize code to run on 2MB of RAM? Now we're out here with 16GB machines running Electron apps that somehow still manage to lag. The PS5 and Xbox Series X sitting smugly next to our gaming rigs while ancient consoles like the SNES and original PlayStation got by with kilobytes. Those old-school devs were literal wizards—squeezing Doom into memory smaller than a modern email attachment. Meanwhile, I'm over here watching Chrome devour RAM like it's an all-you-can-eat buffet.

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