A Secret Message In A Bottle

When your code looks like a cryptography challenge instead of readable software. Someone's using goto statements with aliases like "Alice," "Bob," and "Charlie" - which are the classic placeholder names from cryptography and security examples. The monkey's side-eye says it all: either you're writing some next-level encryption algorithm, or you've completely lost the plot and your code is about to become a crime scene that future developers will investigate with horror.

Fun fact: Alice and Bob have been sending secret messages to each other in computer science textbooks since 1978, with Charlie usually playing the eavesdropper. But using them as goto labels? That's either galaxy brain or just unhinged. Probably both.