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You know that feeling when you're maintaining a codebase from 2008 and you look at modern developers with their fancy PHP 8 features like enums and readonly properties? Yeah, that's the vibe here. These PHP 4 warriors are standing there in their aristocratic glory, looking down on the peasants with their namespaces and traits like they're beneath them.
PHP 4 reached end-of-life in 2008—that's right, 2008. We're talking pre-namespace era, no PDO prepared statements by default, register_globals still haunting production servers. These devs are basically coding royalty at this point, maintaining systems so old they remember when MySQL didn't have a "i" at the end.
The real tragedy? They probably can't leave because they're the only ones who understand the arcane magic keeping that e-commerce site running. Job security through Stockholm syndrome.
