What Else Could It Be

Ah yes, the classic "I store all my passwords in a place even Google can't find them." Because nothing says "responsible developer" like casually browsing the dark web to retrieve that password you definitely didn't write down on a Post-it note that fell behind your desk. Next level security strategy: make your password so sketchy that you need Tor just to remember it!

That moment when your router becomes the literal embodiment of HTTP 502. "Listen here you little $#!%, I didn't spend 4 hours configuring nginx just to have you decide not to proxy my requests!" The classic finger-pointing blame game we all play with our hardware when the real problem is probably that one misconfigured line in nginx.conf we're too stubborn to double-check. Because clearly, intimidating the router is a more efficient debugging strategy.

When that API integration is due in 20 minutes, who has time to read docs? Just crack open the Network tab, copy that curl command, and hack it into your codebase. Sure, the SDK has error handling, type safety, and won't break when the API changes... but that's a problem for Future You. Nothing says "technical debt speedrun" like reverse-engineering API calls while your PM thinks you're "implementing the proper solution."

The cybersecurity version of tech support's favorite question! While normal IT folks ask if you've tried turning it off and on again, security professionals have to redact that advice because... well, turning things off might actually be a valid security measure. Nothing fixes vulnerabilities quite like complete isolation from the network! The guy's RTFM shirt is just the cherry on top – because in security, nobody ever reads the manual until after the breach has happened. Classic "I told you so" fashion.

Everyone's having a normal day until that one developer casually SSH's into production as root. Nothing says "I choose chaos" quite like bypassing all security protocols and jumping straight into prod with admin privileges. Meanwhile, the kid who's probably responsible for this disaster is just sitting there with a smug grin, holding his juice box while the entire office has a collective heart attack. Security best practices? Never heard of 'em.

The evolution of data collection in three acts of increasing desperation. First, you've got your fancy waiters (API) - clean, professional, brings exactly what you ordered. Then there's the pirates (scraping) - stealing what you need because the restaurant won't serve you. And finally, the undead hordes (archive.md) - the nuclear option when a site has died but you still need that precious data. It's the developer's journey from "I'd like to make a request" to "I'm breaking into your house at 2am with bolt cutters."