Quick Call Before You Die

Content MS Power BI Specialist About the Client and Role Our client, a global IT consultancy, is looking for an MS Power BI Specialist to start work on an exciting and challenging undertaking for one of their major partners. This role is a 6 month contract position, and will be based in the partner's Sydney offices. Requirements: 10 ears of Microsoft Power BI experience Solid Data Modelling and Visualisation experience Good understanding of Power BI on Azure Cloud and related tools Experience within the Manufacturing domain (desirable) Power Bi was first released to the general public on Julv 24, 2015 (101

BEHOLD! The architectural manifestation of a Linux user's UNDYING COMMITMENT to their operating system! A house so militantly anti-Microsoft it literally has ZERO windows! Just solid walls of impenetrable concrete because WHY would you need natural light when your terminal has that gorgeous green-on-black glow?! The owner probably enters through some obscure SSH tunnel that requires 17 different authentication methods and a blood sacrifice. Neighbors complain about hearing manic keyboard clacking at 3 AM followed by screams of "I COMPILED MY OWN SUNLIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

Oh. My. God. Daily standups have officially transcended into the SPIRITUAL REALM! 👻 The Scrum Master, desperately channeling the ghost of Tim through Microsoft Teams, while the rest of us sit in this UNHOLY SÉANCE pretending we care if Tim fixed that bug from yesterday. Honey, Tim isn't "experiencing audio issues" - he's LITERALLY ASTRAL PROJECTING to avoid this meeting! The candles aren't for ambiance - they're for SUMMONING THE SPIRIT OF PRODUCTIVITY that died three sprints ago! 💀

Content If the box says: "This software works on Windows 7 or better" Does that mean it'll run on Linux?

Windows crashes aren't bugs—they're features . Just like Bob Ross turned mistakes into birds, Microsoft turns kernel panics into "happy little restarts." That blue screen isn't the digital grim reaper; it's just your OS taking an unscheduled meditation break. The best part? You didn't even have to click "restart"—Windows thoughtfully did it for you! Nothing says "I value your time" like forcibly closing all your unsaved work because some random driver decided to have an existential crisis.

Content I'm using a 32-bit signed integer to store the current time ANUARY 1970. 2038