Performance-optimization Memes

When a video encoding tool claims they're rewriting Social Security in assembly, you know it's April 1st. FFmpeg joining forces with Dogecoin to optimize government infrastructure is like saying "we're fixing healthcare with blockchain" – technically impressive, completely absurd, and would probably still run better than the current system. Just imagine the command line arguments needed to calculate your retirement benefits. Somewhere a COBOL programmer is nervously laughing while backing up their job security.