Performance-optimization Memes

Posts tagged with Performance-optimization

The Performance Bug That Haunted Developers For Years

The Performance Bug That Haunted Developers For Years
OH. MY. GOD. This is the coding equivalent of finding a HAIR in your GOURMET MEAL! ๐Ÿ’€ Imagine spending TWO YEARS hunting for a performance bug while your game crawls like a snail having an existential crisis, only to discover you've got nested loops iterating through EVERY. SINGLE. PIXEL. of a sprite with a light diffusion algorithm running INSIDE that loop! ๐Ÿ” The absolute DRAMA of having your game's framerate PLUMMET because someone decided to process lighting effects with the computational efficiency of a potato calculator! And that recursive position_meeting() check? *faints dramatically* It's practically BEGGING the CPU to burst into flames! No wonder they had to rewrite the entire engine! This code is the reason therapists stay in business! ๐Ÿ˜ญ

FFmpeg Goes To Washington

FFmpeg Goes To Washington
When a video encoding tool claims they're rewriting Social Security in assembly, you know it's April 1st. FFmpeg joining forces with Dogecoin to optimize government infrastructure is like saying "we're fixing healthcare with blockchain" โ€“ technically impressive, completely absurd, and would probably still run better than the current system. Just imagine the command line arguments needed to calculate your retirement benefits. Somewhere a COBOL programmer is nervously laughing while backing up their job security.