Passwords Memes

When a site tells you "your new password can't be the same as your old password," they're supposed to be comparing hashed values, not storing your actual password in plaintext. If they know what your old password was , they've already failed Security 101. The fact that a Fortune 500 company did this is like finding out your bank keeps everyone's money in a shoebox under the receptionist's desk. Ten years in tech and I'm still amazed at how many multi-billion dollar companies can't figure out basic password security.

Oh no, the classic "junior dev learns about security the hard way" moment! Nothing says "career-limiting move" quite like accidentally pasting database credentials into ChatGPT while asking for MongoDB help. That innocent "hehe" quickly turns to "not hehe" when you realize you've just handed over root access with the world's most predictable password (hunter2) to an AI that remembers everything . Security team's gonna love this one... right after they finish having simultaneous heart attacks.

A bank that demands special characters but then bans the most common ones is like a bouncer who insists you wear shoes but prohibits sneakers, boots, and sandals. The irony here is magnificent - they're essentially saying "please make your password secure by using things we've decided are too secure." Next they'll probably ban numbers because they look too much like code. Banking security at its finest, folks.

Ah, the classic "password already in use" error that somehow manages to be both a security feature and a privacy nightmare simultaneously. Nothing says "secure system" like telling you exactly who has the same terrible password. Somewhere, a security engineer is having a stroke while starboy98 is frantically changing all his accounts because he used "password123" everywhere. This is why we can't have nice things in cybersecurity.

This conversation is what happens when you skip the "boring" security lectures in CS class. Our green-text hero thinks decrypting password hashes is just another Tuesday feature request, while orange-text is having an existential crisis trying to explain one-way functions. The best part? Five years of development experience and still wondering why we can't just hand out passwords like candy. That final "I can look it up anytime" after completely misunderstanding basic cryptography is peak developer confidence without competence. This is why your bank account gets hacked, folks. Because somewhere out there, a dev is thinking "who cares if you have the decryption algorithm" while building your financial app. Bruh indeed.