Hashing Memes

Posts tagged with Hashing

Digital Fort Knox vs. Rusty Gate Security

Digital Fort Knox vs. Rusty Gate Security
Oh. My. GOD. The AUDACITY of the security contrast! ๐Ÿ’€ In the digital realm, we're over here flexing with SHA-512 encryption and hash functions that would make supercomputers weep into their cooling systems for bazillion years... meanwhile, real-world security is literally defeated by a group of teenagers with the revolutionary hacking technique of "pull harder." The digital world: "We've created an IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS of mathematical complexity!" The physical world: "Have you tried wiggling the doorknob? It's kind of sticky but usually works."

Salt: Making Hackers Cry And Chefs Smile

Salt: Making Hackers Cry And Chefs Smile
The cybersecurity pun that keeps on giving! In password security, "salt" refers to random data added to passwords before hashing them, making them significantly harder to crack with rainbow tables or brute force attacks. Meanwhile, chefs just get excited about basic seasoning. Hackers crying because you've ruined their day with proper security practices is the digital equivalent of Gordon Ramsay finding the lamb sauce. Security experts everywhere are quietly nodding while sipping their coffee from "My password is stronger than yours" mugs.

Programmers Gambling Addiction

Programmers Gambling Addiction
Oh. My. GOD! Bitcoin mining explained in the most SAVAGE way possible! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Imagine playing a cosmic lottery where you're trying to guess a number between 1 and 10 22 (that's a 1 with TWENTY-TWO zeros after it, sweetie). The odds are so astronomically ridiculous that your computer would literally burst into flames before guessing correctly! Yet here we are, with thousands of miners worldwide melting the polar ice caps with their electricity consumption just to play this mathematical slot machine from hell. And for what? The CHANCE to win 3.125 Bitcoin that they'll probably never sell because "it might go up more." The delusion is BREATHTAKING!

PHP's Accidental Hash Collision Feature

PHP's Accidental Hash Collision Feature
Behold, PHP's infamous type juggling strikes again! The meme shows how md5('240610708') == md5('QNKCDZO') evaluates to true despite being completely different strings. What's happening? Both MD5 hashes begin with '0e' followed by digits, which PHP helpfully interprets as scientific notation (0ร—10^something). And since 0 raised to any power equals 0, PHP thinks both hashes equal zero. It's basically comparing 0==0. This is why strict comparison ( === ) exists in PHP. Without it, you might accidentally authenticate someone with the wrong password! Security nightmare fuel for any developer who values their sanity.

Naming Your Child After Your Password

Naming Your Child After Your Password
That awkward moment when your kid's teacher can't pronounce "$2Y$10$UgTh9EyUvedMTndo0PvF4.YkZaHx6OsMirqjR6ApgAsnPrRikwBgs" during roll call. On the plus side, absolutely no one is stealing this kid's identity. The ultimate security-minded parent move: not using your kid's name as your password, but using your incomprehensible bcrypt hash as your kid's name. Modern problems require modern solutions.

Your New Password Can't Be The Same As Your Old Password... Right?

Your New Password Can't Be The Same As Your Old Password... Right?
When a site tells you "your new password can't be the same as your old password," they're supposed to be comparing hashed values, not storing your actual password in plaintext. If they know what your old password was , they've already failed Security 101. The fact that a Fortune 500 company did this is like finding out your bank keeps everyone's money in a shoebox under the receptionist's desk. Ten years in tech and I'm still amazed at how many multi-billion dollar companies can't figure out basic password security.

Passwords, How Do They Work? (Conversation With A Guy Who Has Been A Developer For 5 Years)

Passwords, How Do They Work? (Conversation With A Guy Who Has Been A Developer For 5 Years)
This conversation is what happens when you skip the "boring" security lectures in CS class. Our green-text hero thinks decrypting password hashes is just another Tuesday feature request, while orange-text is having an existential crisis trying to explain one-way functions. The best part? Five years of development experience and still wondering why we can't just hand out passwords like candy. That final "I can look it up anytime" after completely misunderstanding basic cryptography is peak developer confidence without competence. This is why your bank account gets hacked, folks. Because somewhere out there, a dev is thinking "who cares if you have the decryption algorithm" while building your financial app. Bruh indeed.