Hashing Memes

That awkward moment when your kid's teacher can't pronounce "$2Y$10$UgTh9EyUvedMTndo0PvF4.YkZaHx6OsMirqjR6ApgAsnPrRikwBgs" during roll call. On the plus side, absolutely no one is stealing this kid's identity. The ultimate security-minded parent move: not using your kid's name as your password, but using your incomprehensible bcrypt hash as your kid's name. Modern problems require modern solutions.

When a site tells you "your new password can't be the same as your old password," they're supposed to be comparing hashed values, not storing your actual password in plaintext. If they know what your old password was , they've already failed Security 101. The fact that a Fortune 500 company did this is like finding out your bank keeps everyone's money in a shoebox under the receptionist's desk. Ten years in tech and I'm still amazed at how many multi-billion dollar companies can't figure out basic password security.

This conversation is what happens when you skip the "boring" security lectures in CS class. Our green-text hero thinks decrypting password hashes is just another Tuesday feature request, while orange-text is having an existential crisis trying to explain one-way functions. The best part? Five years of development experience and still wondering why we can't just hand out passwords like candy. That final "I can look it up anytime" after completely misunderstanding basic cryptography is peak developer confidence without competence. This is why your bank account gets hacked, folks. Because somewhere out there, a dev is thinking "who cares if you have the decryption algorithm" while building your financial app. Bruh indeed.