Calendar Memes

The duality of a programmer's existence in one perfect image. On the left: the cold, dead stare of someone who's been in three consecutive meetings about why the sprint is behind schedule. On the right: pure, unbridled joy at the prospect of sweet, sweet cancellation. Those 30 reclaimed minutes might as well be a week-long vacation. Nothing sparks more developer happiness than the phrase "meeting canceled" - it's basically our version of winning the lottery. Now back to coding in peace with those noise-canceling headphones doing their sacred duty.

So you wrote your own calendar library and now December has 34 days. Classic. This is why we don't reinvent wheels that track the rotation of our planet. Next you'll tell me you've optimized February to have -3 days to compensate. Somewhere, a project manager is wondering why Q4 reports are delayed while you explain that technically, the year isn't over yet according to your implementation.

The eternal holy war of array indexing. Programmers are divided into two camps: those who believe weeks should start on Monday (index 0) like ISO standard, and those who think Sunday (index 0) makes sense because... America? Meanwhile, JavaScript's Date object betrays everyone by making Sunday index 0 but Monday index 1. The real crime here isn't the starting day—it's that we're all wasting precious debugging hours arguing about it instead of fixing that memory leak nobody wants to touch.