The Meeting Cancellation Euphoria

C++ and Python walk into a bar. C++ asks Python its name, then immediately realizes its mistake. Meanwhile, C++ crashes spectacularly with a segmentation fault when asked the same question, spewing memory addresses and error codes like it's having an existential crisis. Python just smugly says "Python!" because it doesn't have to worry about pointer arithmetic or memory management. And that, friends, is why some of us choose languages that don't make us debug core dumps at 2PM on a Friday.

Ah, the sacred GitHub contribution graph art! After months of meticulously planned commits, our hero has achieved the ultimate flex: spelling "GIT" with their contribution squares. This is what happens when you have too much free time but still want to seem productive to potential employers. "Yes, I made 247 commits in June. No, don't look too closely at what those commits actually were..." The irony is beautiful - using Git to spell "GIT" while probably committing nothing of actual value. Peak developer peacocking. Chef's kiss.

Every open-source developer the moment someone forks their repo with zero stars. "That's it, I've made it! Someone actually thought my code was worth copying! Time to update the LinkedIn profile to 'Influential Developer' and start charging for consultation." Meanwhile, it was probably just some poor soul who clicked the wrong button or forked it to fix that one glaring typo in the README.

Content Jim Manico manicode 4h The governor of New Jersey just put out the call on live TV that he is desperate for Cobol programmers right now. 85 17448 722 d distracteddb 2h REFRES Can't tell if joking 02 Jim Manico manicode Not joking at all; for the unemployment system. 15:29 - 04.04.20 Twitter for iPhone

Nothing says "committed relationship" like spending 4 hours trying to horizontally align a div only to give up and use flexbox. The real affair is between this poor soul and Stack Overflow. Trust issues? Please. The only thing he's cheating with is margin: 0 auto; and it's clearly not working out.

Content When you copy a snippet from StackOverflow and it doesn't work Those bastards lied to me