Nocturnal Debugging Syndrome

Content Will Ye. 3rd Engineering Cohere Follow 17h Edited Back when I worked at Amazon as a software engineer, the CRAZIEST thing happened to me. Here's the story... I was working from home with my girlfriend (at the time), when suddenly I get an urgent ping from my coworker: "Our service is experiencing a SEV 2! We need all hands on deck!" Uh oh, our team's application has gone down! However, as I scrambled to figure out how to fix the issue, I smelled something burning from another room and heard a fire alarm go off. "Will! There's a fire! Help!" heard my girlfriend shout. Now I was stuck in a conundrum - restore a critical Amazon service, or put out the fire in my apartment? It was at that time I remembered Amazon's famous leadership principle "Customer Obsession". There are customers who depend on my team's application - I can't let them down! So I ignored the fire and my girlfriend's pleas, and started debugging the production issue. But all of a sudden, the smoke in my apartment cleared and the fire alarm fell silent. My girlfriend walked into the room, and to my astonishment, peeled off a wig and revealed herself to be Jeff Bezos himself! "I'm proud of you for being obsessed with our customers," he said, and gave me a 5 Amazon gift card. He then leaped out of my window and hopped into a waiting Amazon Prime delivery van that quickly peeled away. Even though I no longer work at Amazon, I'm so grateful for these experiences that taught me lessons I'll never forget. Agree?

THE ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY! 💀 Imagine spending 17 hours debugging that impossible production issue, finally discovering the solution, racing to your laptop to implement it and—BOOM—your electronic companion decides to commit digital suicide! The universe has a special kind of cruelty reserved for developers. Your code salvation, your career-saving fix, your MOMENT OF GLORY... all vanished because your laptop chose THAT EXACT MOMENT to stage its dramatic power rebellion. The formal frog announcement just makes it 10000% more devastating. Pour one out for another developer's shattered dreams!

Content What is the result of the function call shown below? let firstName 'John'; const greeting firstName console.log("Hi, my name is firstName!"); greeting("John Jr."); Hi my name is John! is logged to the console. Hi my name is undefined! is logged to the console. Correct Answer Hi my name is John Jr.! is logged to the console. You Answered uncaught syntax error is logged to the console. Incorrect! Hi my name is John Jr.! is logged to the console as a result of the function call on line 33.

This meme perfectly captures the sheer terror of debugging in production. Just like this madman fixing an airplane engine while it's flying , developers often find themselves frantically patching critical bugs on live systems that can't be taken down. One wrong move and the whole thing crashes spectacularly! The difference? The plane mechanic only risks his life once, while developers experience this heart-stopping anxiety multiple times per sprint. And management still wonders why we need more coffee.

Coding alone: Hulk smashing everything in sight, pure chaos, feeling invincible. Code review with seniors: Hulk looking ashamed, hand on face, surrounded by judgmental Avengers who are silently wondering how you managed to break every coding standard in existence. Nothing humbles you faster than having your "brilliant" solution dissected by people who've seen every bad implementation since COBOL was cool. The "ONE WAY" sign in the background is just chef's kiss irony.

ChatGPT has officially completed its transformation into a real software engineer by mastering the ultimate developer defense mechanism: "It works on my machine." The sacred incantation that has shielded programmers from responsibility since the dawn of computing has now been adopted by AI. Next up: blaming the user's configuration, suggesting a system reboot, and proposing we rewrite everything in Rust. The student has truly become the master.