The Road To Temporary Storage

Content After thousands of applications, I just accepted an offer from a McFAANG company! Shitpost Don't want to specify which one, but I'm super excited to finally be working at a top tier McFAANG company! I will be in a Forward Deployed Food Engineering Specialist role! Some of my job responsibilities include: Building ETL pipelines to extract frozen patties from the FREEZER database and transforming them into ready made burgers Deriving insights and analysis on client orders from the cash register Managing real-time NoSQL (No Salt Queue Layer) deployments for french fry processing Maintaining high-throughput IO operations at drive-through queuing interface while ensuring sub-60-second response times Implementing mission-critical data cleaning protocols using proprietary mop-based algorithms Debugging ice cream machines I'm extremely excited to receive a base TC of over 280k (per decade) for my first job out of college! If anyone wants some tips or tricks, feel free to ask

Content SI AM ROOT!

Nothing says "I'm not interested in you" quite like feigning interest in your 4-hour Linux installation tutorial. You spent three dates explaining partitioning schemes and kernel compilation while she quietly plotted her escape route. That tiny penguin tattoo on her arm? Just a coincidence. The harsh truth is she'd rather use Windows ME than listen to another word about your custom bash scripts. Next time, maybe lead with "Netflix and chill" instead of "Let me show you how to compile from source."

Content writing 2 words clicking the arrow keys 9999x

This is what happens when developers get bored at midnight. Some maniac just casually invented a cursed programming language by combining HTML syntax with kernel-level access and wrapped it in nonsensical tags. The best part? The horrified reaction from their friend who's watching this abomination unfold in real-time. It's like witnessing a car crash in slow motion, but with code. The suggestion to "USE KERNELSCRIPT" at the end is just the chef's kiss of chaotic evil. This is exactly how programming languages nobody asked for are born - in Discord chats at 11:30 PM when someone's brain has officially left the building.

The eternal IT paradox: "Trust but verify" taken to its logical extreme. Poor Eric drove two hours just to press a power button that three people swore was already on. This is why we develop trust issues and insist on seeing error logs ourselves. Nothing quite builds character like a 4-hour round trip to flip a switch that takes 2 seconds. The server was probably running perfectly... in someone's imagination.