Thanks Grandma For The Accidental Linux Machine

Content prior to Microsoft purchasing Github, my code was entirely safe And Other Hilarious Jokes You Can Tell Yourself Volume II

Content Looking to hire a Jr Data Scientist: - 15 years Python - 30 years SQL - 20 years AWS - 15 years Spark - 15 years Terraform - Core contributor to assembly code base - Team player - Should have some sort of martial arts experience, whether Ninja, Jujitsu, or Karate. All 3 is preferred. - Knows SQL, NoSQL, NewSQL and all future flavors of SQL - Project Management experience - Strong experience with Keras, TensorFlow, Sklearn, XGBoost and preferably has written their own ML library from scratch. - Should have published at least 2 top level academic papers preferably focused around a Convolutional Recurrent Back-propagating Neural Network - Open source contributor at least 5 projects. - Experience leading teams of 10,000 people or more - Managed CICD pipeline for an application with at least 2 billion daily users - Should have at least 1 PhD, 5 is preferred. Yes, we have ping pong tables and an open floor plan and lots of salty snacks in the breakroom. Organic Kombucha on tap. The interviews will consist of a 5 day process of whiteboarding algorithms from scratch followed by writing your own compiler and a coding exam will be taken at random from the 20 most popular programming languages.

Content Gautam imComputerGeek Linux user:- Windows 10 is for idiots, smart people use linux distros. Linus trovalds is great. Also Linux user: My wift and graphic driver issue ate my entire week. more than 700mb ram usage. Hmm...something is wrong, lets compile entire kernel and install it "again"

Content when you mess up the multithreading

That ancient Windows XP machine gathering cobwebs in your closet? Tragic. But the moment you install Linux on that same hardware? RESURRECTION MODE ACTIVATED! Nothing quite matches the satisfaction of bringing a 15-year-old laptop back from the dead with a lightweight distro. Suddenly your "obsolete" hardware is running smoother than your coworker's brand new $2000 machine that's drowning in bloatware. The penguin strikes again!

Content Atif Aslam showing off his GitHub contributions on stage ProdrammerHumor.io