The JavaScript Ecosystem Rollercoaster

Content I like your virgin pride shirt. IM A JAVASCRIPT DEV Is

Content There's a repo on Github containing some scripts used by a tech employee that his coworkers discovered after he left the company. Here's a summary of his shenanigans: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xXx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those Reply 4 10.3k J

Content 1 put that on everything JS DESKTOP APPS FRONTEND MACHINE LEARNING BACKEND MOBILE APPS

Content STOP ADDING FEATURES TO WEB BROWSERS AND JAVASCRIPT Chrome is not supposed to be able to run feature-complete Photoshop Hundreds of implemented TC-39 proposals, yet no real-world use found for running CRust applications inside of a browser window Wanted to run a program written in javascript with filesystem access for fun anyways? We had a tool for that, it's called NodeJS. "Yes please, give me Array.at (-1) and private class members", "Please give me finer manual memory allocation in WASM" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly deranged. Look at what Web Developers have been demanding your respect for, all this time, with all the API's we built for them: .???? ???? 222 debugging c code inside of the devtools running neural networks on the client side rendering shaders with WebGPUGL Hello, i would like JI('0) 1(' )!!I apples please They have played us for absolute fools

Content live! Node.js 293,166 followers 2h G The redesigned nodejs.org is ... see more undefined Node.js nodejs.org 1 min read

Content when someone ask you what programming language they should learn, don't simply answer the one you prefer. first ask them what area they plan to focus on. for example: web frontend: iavascript backend: javascript mobile apps: javascript games: javascript ai: javascript